Tuesday the 18th of December

(update in what I told you about how I am dealing with the pseudo friendship; well although I took the decision of terminating very slowly that pseudo friendship with others at the same time I feel quite sad about the situation with finishing the other ones but still quite determined about it)

DOES DOES O O O DOES O O O DOES DOES

Before I finish the blog for the year I want to give you two more hygienic practices that I do when I have my shower ; they are both to go in my genital area. First I dry it twice with a dry part of the towel and this is because as we have it with the legs close (obviously!) and on the sitting position in the wheelchair constantly can get very hot and if there is humidity of any form it itches like "hell" so because of this I dry it twice and averytime with a clean (dry) part of the towel that I try to keep it dry for this purpouse only.

The other custom that I have is that when I put the deodorant in my armpits I apply it also to the area between the puvic hair and the leg, and also above the pubic hair. The deodorant that I use and I find very cheap and helpful is called : PIT ROK NATURAL CRYSTAL DEODORANT ; it is antibactirial (I think) , it does not smell at all I usually buy it from the local whole food store but any alternative health shop I hope will have it and it is quite cheap not because its cheap to buy it but it last for ages as you need to damp it only before using it and the solid one (this is the one I use) can last you for two or three years but dont ask it to smell nice it does not, it doesnt smell bad either and this is the point.

There is another custom that I have and gives my skin face neck and shoulders young and moist.(terse) This is organic Aloe Vera gell with added vitamin E . I would recomended to you and to use and exfolieiting sponge.

DOES DOES O O O DOES O O O DOES DOES

And for ending this blog and with it this year the BACH flower remdies .

They were suggested to me by my friend Josechu; I started on the 29th of January this year by having only one and after 1 month and a half and because of my insistance he recomended me one more added to what I have and after nearly two months I went into having two more added to the two I had. Now I take on a regular basis ten different ones (four in agrup in the morning and early afternoon but different than the previous ones; four in a group in a late afternoon and evening; and two more that I take in the bottle of water that I have by the side of my bed) and with this I show how addictive is my personality; of course I have many but many defects of character but I think I got a little bit carried away and very far in the extreem trying to sort out everything and becoming what I jokely say to Josechu "a perfect woman" (ha,ha,ha...!)

What is cheap about it is the way Josechu told me to take them, I buy the usual little bottle of concetrated flower remedy preseverved in a solution with a 27 % of brandy (lovely for an alcoholic. Actually the same carer that took the money from me drunk a whole one of this originally little bottles and although he deny it then I am sure if I told him about it now he will deny it again; We need to think that he in the initial interview convinced me talking the recovery language that he was on the recovering from heroin, cokaine and alcohol so drinking that little bottle meant something if you know what I mean.) and by Josechus suggestion, I found out also that some websites suggest more or less the same, I put 3 drops of the bottle into a 30 mils bottle of natural or filtred or even mineral water making the original flower remedy bottle to last if not for ever for a very long time indeed; so if the original little bottle cost around 4 £ and it last about 10 years (the brandy in it makes it to be preserved for a long time ) We are talking that it can cost you 40 pence a year and this I think is a very wise operation.

Then main reason why I started to use the flower remedies was because of my many defects of charackter that certainly they "soften" them quite a lot but I found that some remedies like Crab Apple do help also in a physical level as ever dont take my word for it if it doesnt go with you dont take it northeless read about them in different websites and books and choose the ones that you may think are for you if you decide to take them of course.

Once I give you the little secret that my friend Josechu gave me about how to use the Bach flower remedies I will be finishing the period of time, this time of my writings in my blog.

Unless I feel increadibly needed to write about something I will be publishing pictures only but knowing my "artistic" tendecies they will try to be as much creative as posisible.

So I am not saying good bye now but I am getting very close to that.

We this picture I show you an exercise that I forgot to tell you about before. It is exactly the same exercise but in different body position that the one I had my arms extemded over the head and I opened and closed my hands (fists) 60 times; well I do open and close them again 60 times but this time in a more relaxed position as my arms are bent and resting on the mattres and on the each side of the body. Please note the position of the feat and the bent legs by the knees because this is a position that I will keep for the "new" exercises (yest not only one as I originally thopught but two)

Now in the samwe body position I move the arms up and I place them behind the head as I show you in the picture with the fingers crossing each other.

What it comes now is an exercise that I thought one day resting after doing all the exercise routine and waiting for the carer in the morning. I knew that its very good to stretch the body as it imrpoves the flexibility so i just stretched my arms with the legs bent of corse and then compliteley casualy Icrossed my hands behing the head and by making the elbows to press deeply into the matress I noticed that this is a "new" and rather good exercise because not only stretches the spine and makes the shoulder plates to nearly touch each other but actually opens the bone structure in the whole upper chest and the muscle structure in the arm pits area, this will take only about 40 sec to do. As I thought about it, there is one exercise that can be done in a gym in which there is a machine that actually makes dificult the opposite movement, this is trying to join the ebows; actually this exercise is the opposite movement in which you try to make the elbows to go as deep inside the matress as possible and holding for about 5 seconds as I show in two pictures below.

What comes now is the one that I though as a possible alternative as the one above but when I did it produced such benefit in my lower back that I realised it was a very good one for the hips. Basicaly its the same one as above but on a flat matres without pillow but this time you don't need to press elbows towards the matress but the knees although in my case they cannot ,they try to move towards the matrees and holding this position for as long as its comfortable; this movement opens the whole pelvic area therefore making it very healthy for people using wheelchair full time.

Saturday 15th of december

Oh Boy! I was getting it wrong all alone. I do have a highly descerning mind and I was using it to get through all the information it was getting to me or any I was going into; and the message is here all alone coming clear but descies to me and now I got it clear by using that descerning ability that I have reading the Upanishads. I always wanted simplicity in everything, not less since I started to walk the path of recovery but, and in this i noticed how alcoholic is my mind still after 14 years of not drinking, I was certainly leading towards simplicity but I was looking into complicated, elaborated, sophisticated theories that would lead me into the none dualistic philosophy. I first found the none dualistic philosophy in the writings of Castanieda about Juan Matus but this Juan Matus crossed over (we are not told exactly where) sometime in the seventies and then castanieda became his own "naguel" leading into his death by brain damage sometime in 1998 (I usualy believe in coincidences but I dont like this one) and by the end I didn't like very much what he was writing because his "team" was not as complete as the one from the "naguel" Juan Matus. And now after quite a few yeras I am feeling complitely lost I find Juan Matus, perhaps not the entity but his way of life, and I find it precisely in the Upanishads.

I need to abandom sophistaction, elaboration, complication and to embrace simplicity but I do like to talk as you can gather by now so this is going to a big problem for me.

DOES DOES O O O DOES DOES O O O DOES DOES

I think I found the solution for the riddle that I was presenting to you on Thursday; you know the one about that pseudo friend with whom I wanted to finish the friendship but he didn't want to.

Well I think I got it now.

If I put him and his pseudo friendship (a very long one going back to when I was 11 years old and now I have 47 so you can imagine, a long time for having pseudo frienship and not realising it) with other pseudo friends and I finished with them all at the same time (as a group, This trick was useds Hans Solo in the "empire strikes back" or otherwise known as the chapter number V in Star Wars when he tries to invade the search of the empire for his ship ang hides among rubbish coming out) but without telling them so just by not communicating with them any more and whenever they communicate with me telling them that I am very busy perhaps this way they will realise that the friendship is dead but I am not closing the channel of that friendship, so "technically" speaking (I don't think there is nothing technical about friendships but it just the language that I use) I am not finishing the friendship.

Well I will tell you how it goes, but then again I may not because as soon as I finish telling you the most practical things about my recovery I will try to stop writing (talking) and will publish in my blog only pictures; well after all I am a visual person not a writer.

Thursday the 13 of December

Before starting to write this blog, sometime at the end of September 2006, I had two attempts (first one sometime in 2004, second one sometime in 2005;I deleted this two previous attempts) so when I started the 3 rd attempt it was complitely new. The reason that the previous two atempts didn't work was because although in the surface I was trying not "write" a book somehow in the subconcius or uncoucious of my mind I was doing so and it didn't work. So the last thing I want to do now is to "hook" anybody into believing that because I am doing so much, so well and I am looking increadibly healthy I am trying to make people to become "my followers"; well let me put it clear again, I am not a LEADER I am just a member of one comunity and that comunity has no leaders.

Although anybody can gain benefit from reading my blogs I am writing to and imaginary male person.

The reason why I say all off this is because through all my difficulties, and not so many difficulties in life I have learned one thing and this is that one looks for something that they know already, it just happens that they dont remember that they know and put that "power" in some another person who is "uncovering" that to them (and therefore this person becomes "linked" with what the "weaker" person gets) . Well I don't want to be responsible for anybody getting something high or falling through the "gutter". This point needs to be very clear to everybody, although we are in a comunity working together with each other, everybody is responsible for them selves; I am not the leader in a march , I am not a beacon or lighthouse showing a particular way or the dangers of any particular "path", I am only pretending to be a written signpost in the middle of nowhere and everwhere , and as I try to respect you, you need to try to respect me. For example I have a "friend" with whom I cannot end the friendship because he doesn't want to do so , I do want to but he doesn't, so I end up respecting his wishes but he is not respecting mine ; this is a riddle that I had not found the solution (I had not descent angle it) just yet.

Tuesday the 11th of December 2007


MORNING

Olive Leaf 1 (400 mg of olive leaf extract contains minimum 75 mg of Oleuropein)
Emtricitabine 1 (Hospital medication 200 mg FTC ;nucleoside analogues)
Raltegravir 1 (400 mg integrase inhibitor)

Breakfast is served in 3 stages , the first and second stage is in bed, and the fird and the last one in the living room on the table, first stage one cup of magnetised water with one drop of tea tree give to elfrid with all the breakfast medication; about 10 or 15 mins later he has a cup of mate tea with a rounded tea spoon of Lions Mane ( Hericium-MRL; hericium erinaceus , cultivated mushroom biomass powder) after stiring well you give to elfrid with a fresh straw to drink it; to the solid part of the breakfast you need to add 5 drops of Bach flower remedies (Crab apple, aspen, mimulus, heather)

Lunch

Vinpocentine(Perwinkle) 1 (Perwinkle extract 10mg )
Neem Leaf 2 (450 mg Neem Leaf Powder in a gelatine capsule)

For lunch elfrid has the soup with a well stirred tea spoon of wheat grass powder (Sun grown wheat grass powder 2 g-tea spoon) and 5 drops of flower remedies. After lunch on the table the carer needs to leave 1 cup with juice of a banana, grapefruit and a pinch of ginger with the 5 drops of flower remedies that are on the table, and a bag of walnuts opened with a tea spoon.

EVENING

Vinpocentine(Perwinkle) 1
Olive Leaf 1
Raltegravir 1
Atazanavir 2 (protease inhibitor, 200 mg per capsule, )

for supper elfrid has a cup with the lemon drink that has 5 drops of the flower remedies (Wild Oat, Vervain, Impatience, Beech)

BEDTIME

Melatonin 1 (1.5 mg, Active-Melatonin ;98-99% pure)

On Mondays and Thursdays, remember to change the water in the bedside table (including one drop of wlanut flower remedy and another of water violet), so Elfrid can have fresh water; remember that in those same days the PA needs to change the water (filtered) in the containers by the site of the little altar in the living room.

.........

Above you have my medication list as from yesterday. This half way official and half way food suplementary I have it together with all the execises I do and the diet i have responsible for how good I look from health point of view. So I will give you now a short description of why I do I have or why do I think I have everythink I have.

I do have have the olive leaf extract because its a very powerful antiviral and I first heard about in the Tv, Tea Time program of Richard and Judy showned in channel 4.

Emtricitabine together with Raltegravir and Atazanavir (this last two are a nucleoside analogu or second generation of anti HIV drugs and the last one is a protease inhibitor or third generation of the anti HIV medicacion) are the only "hospital" medications I have everyday, twice a day; this emtricitabine is the newest generation of drugs designed for HIV. Without much medical information I can tell you that this is the 4 generation, the first one was coming out of the panic that affected communities in America had a consequence of Hiv and was pressing the scientific comunity to give them something, no matter what and the first med they came out with was a big killer until they found the right doses (quite a few years after) AZT; the second generation was trying to attack with no much succes HIV but doing not very much about persons immune system; the third generation protease inhibitors, vere a big break through because the scietist have discovered a protein that HIV needed to attach to any cell of the immune system in order to reproduce besides taken in combiination with other previous drugs was not only protectin the body from HIV but was somehow rebuiding the immune system; finally we arrive to the 4th gen, (there is the 5th one in the line but only in the labolatory experimentation), this is going deeper in the attachement that HIV needs to reproduce and therefore to depress the immune system , leaving it complitely useless because it cannot reproduce so it comes being in the body that infects but doing nothing at all so no need to rebuidd the immubne system because it never gets a chance to be depleted (we really hope it works in does show that in lab but in reality we don't know becaus the main problem with hiv is that it mutates so might overcome this situation, well see ... )

Lions mane, I am not royal but its been used by TCM only for the "palatine" people in the imperial households in china and Japan; basically its a component for helping the digestion but recently has been discovered that it works very well also for the brain; I am not suprised since I knew already that there is an intimate connection between digestive system and brain funtions. (I hear about it from a nutritionist in the nutri centre then I did a search in the internet and I found a very good and cheap supplyier in the UK) ( http://www.vibrationalgaiarising.com/p/272594/lions-mane-mushroom-mycelium-powder-60gm.html )

Bach flower remedies, I will elaborate closely to that at a later stage because they seem to be working wonders with me (they were suggested to me by Josechu)

Perwinkle, I use it as something that brings down the brain barrier and allows good things to get through because it improves the blood flow in the brain.

Neem Leaf, I think it was the Hindu god Shiva, said reffering to the Neem tree that it was among trees like he was among gods. Its antifungal and its been studied as it may work against HIV also.(I first heard about in Easter last year on radio 4 and of course the Internet lead me to the best supplyiers in the UK) ( http://www.theneempeople.com/ )

Wheat grass,powder, It would ideal to have it in juice but taking into the consideration the pracical reasons of my situation the sooner I could have after being made the juice would be 40-45 mins and idealy you should have it withing 20 mins of being made; I could have it also in a tray and cultivating it myself I could have it when I needed but the juicer has to be only for it and the minimum tag price is about 70 or 80 pounds and it vould get more expesive besides so far I have change quite often of carers so the constant would be me and physical circumstances made it totaly imposible; I take it mainlty because it have everything that a human being may need to survive, actually, I believe that some people take it as an only source norisement because it has everything that the body needs to live. ( http://www.bodykind.com/productdetails/RefererxKelkoo_Lifestream%20Wheat%20Grass%20Powder%20-%20100g/PartnerIDx6/CatIDx222/ProdIDx719/lifestream-wheat-grass-powder-1x.htm ); (this supplyier was recomended to me by Charlotte Watts because its very good quality and cheap)

I get the Melatonin bought from the Internet from the USA because in that country its commonly used as a source of the much needed muscle relaxant, (this is why I have it ) when people have jet lack, as far as I know its not comercialised in Europe. Its made naturaly by a human body but with age the production in the body decreases.

Well I think that I told you about everything i take but if I forgot anything forget me.

DOES OOO DOES OOO DOES

I just had an email from Charlotte Watts telling me something about the wallnuts that is also found in the Omega 3 oil, this is an antidepresant called URIDINE so thank you for this Charlotte, everything is still cheap and cheerful. (I hope.)

Monday the 10th of December

Today I started a new combination therapy that has an integrase inhibitor but about this tomorrow.

Now a lot of my "rubbish" or "bullshit" follows so you are where that this means that if you dont want to read todays post fine lovely , I just needed to get it out of my "system".

Yesterday I finished a book and started another that promised to be very interesting (The Upanishads) but before I tell you about the new book I better tell you .

The book I finished reading yesterday mentiones that violence and evil belongs to the dark side, well if we look around violence belongs to the light side not to the dark side and evil, the devil or any deamon are creations of the creator of god that is the human being; God has not any opposite, its unique by itself so obviously the devil and his servants has to be a creature but (suprise, suprise!) the existence of a concept about the devil begins with christianity because before this religion (and its only that one of many religions that human kind had and still have) divine conceptions in other religions had a light and a dark side at the same time. Violence I think is just a reaction to FEAR there is unfortunately another fear with not so much importance except that it has been created as a response to the FEAR. Therefore violence belongs as a fear to the light side as a reaction of FEAR that some would like to put in the dark side (the dark side is not complaining!). In Yin and Yang from Taoism we find that light is mascculine and dark feminine, however we have colour white as feminine and black as masculine; is this a contradiction? I do not think so, because if you look at the symbol of Yin and Yang , it is a black half circle with a white side circle but the black has something of the white and the white has something of the black. And guess who is having the most of the violence in this world? MEN (well I better keep it as secret now, I am a men myslef).

Let me elaborate a bit more about FEAR. This FEAR was created at the begining and will stop existing at the end, animals react with fear when they face that and perhaps the differeciation between homosapiens and all the other subspecies of hominidious is that ability to face fear, to stand fear not to run away when fear faces them in short not to be an animal; of course from an evolutionary point of view homo sapiens are animals but we have capacities that differenciate us quite well from the other animal like the ability to stand in front of panic, fear or to the capacity of creating it for the sake of making a story, we call it "makebelief" and I dont think this capacity to stand fear and from fantasy to create it is present in any other animal (well I might be wrong) some people make us belief that there if FEAR that needs to confronted with their solution/fear, one of them is violence , another is religions, another one is different sexualities and even another one is drugs; why this last one, well think about it, some of the drugs have very interesting names like heroin - a female hero that sorts out something that is wrong, some others are called "crack" and what is that ? an opening through you can get out; and as the addictions "hook" on the person those names change into "shit" and all because its the fear that we try to be fighting of the other FEAR.

I am lost now. I was talking about something and I forgot how it continues.

This is the problem of being out in the cloud cuculand with ferries, anyway you know what I meant.

DOES O O O DOES O O O DOES

Yesterday I started to read a very interesting book that I told you before the title. Although I am reading only the introduction so far I found a few "pearls of wisdom".

"...One of the messages of the Upanishads is that the Spirit can only be known through union with him, and not through mere learning. ...."

"...Who sees variety and not the unity wanders on from death to death..."

"... The Christian must feel that Brahman is God, and the Hindu must feel that God is Brahman..."

All of them in page eleven in the introduction. I do like very much this book but dont worry I am not going to become Hindu as I do like very much "the peak and mix" period that I am having at the moment in my life but who knows maybe I am allowed to be crazy and at the same time to enjoy this wisdom. Ill tell you more as I find out about it.

DOES O O O DOES O O O DOES

Sometimes I reffer to the health complication I have as if it was a coctail so people can understand better what is happening; I say that if you put in a coctail shaker a little bit of parkinsons, a little bit of alzhaimers and a little bit of MS after you shake vigorusly the end end result is very approximate to what I have. Of course there is something else but I cannot explain it very well. Using the example of the coctail shaker if you put in it well measures Capitalism and Comunism with a few drops of Anarchy after shaking well you serve on a glass with a straw and a slice of lemon/lime that we could call democracy for the sake of it we would have the ideal political estate and so far we have something for the last 10 years in this country that used to be very much like 70 per cent of Christian social democracy, 20 percent of Capitalism and 5 per cent of sindicalism obviously shake well with a joke of a slice of democracy and the straw only if needed but usually was in so some poeple coulde still/ spin the result ; I dont know what we have now. Most certainly we have the straw but what else I dont know just yet.

Saturday the 8th of December





Tomorrow Sunday the 9th of December is a new moon in Sagitarius so everything that I am going to say now, we can call it "bullshit" (well if you prefer "rubbish") Blame it on the new moon; well after all I am a water sign and this new moon is in a fire one so I am not histerical any more because eating the walnuts and obviously that energy has to come out somehow; so if you dont blame it on the moon (Im sure "she" will not mind) I will.

Does Does O O O Does O O O Does Does

Did you know that by adding one tb spoon of cider vinegar into the washing machine the washing comes without smells ? I know it because I saw it on TV a long time ago that if add one tb spoon of cider vinegar into the kettle then you put plenty of water and finally boil it, it will clean the lime scale but about the one in the washing machine I didn't know it as I didnt know that its been good for cleaning windows and glass wear in general (of course you need to rinse it well, because the smell of vinegar is a bit to much).

Does Does O O O Does O O O Does Does

Well didn't I want to have a larger flat ? Well now I can see it double (althought sometimes I sometimes I see it triple or quadtriple) so I can have a new flat only by adjusting my sight although its not me who is doing the adjusting but we have the same result anyway (so much for being a control freak); the only problem with the "flat" is that the sofa is double and the bed and so on but eventually I will come around that too as I said its only a question of adjustement something or somebody adjusted my sight so now my cleavernes needs to adjust to the new reality I suppouse.





Regarding this new reality I have to say that the double vision is not so double because as I told it manifest itself like looking through a transparent and translusive bag full of frozen water, clear water of course, and I discovered that there is light always on outside of this frozen thing, and it has flashing spots like the water has been defrosted but its lways frozen and the peculiar thing about it is that I thought I saw it only during the day time but last night when I was in bed awake about 2 or 3 in the morning with my eyes closed the blinfold on top of them, (I need to use blinfold because the street light is glaring at me through the window, especialy now when the sicamore tree is sleeping during the winter) I was seeing it. Well maybe it is a sign that I was waiting for that I am getting truly mad, finally! (You see when you discover the secret before the begining and after the creation you need to pay back)

Does Does O O O Does O O O Does Does

What is about sex that is so important in ourselves. As far as I as i can see sex is only , but well not only you know what I mean, Comunication that happens to be deeper an very personal but only comunication . from this point a view prostitution has got a meaning and will always be there for as long as we human beings need to comunicate with each other at a deep and personal level; and of course promiscuity does not exist its just multi comunication. (You see as I discovered recently I was not promiscious I was thinking everytime when I was meeting a man from a sexual poin of view, sometimes was 3 or 4 a day, that "...maybe this time..." ; unfortunately all those men were in for the right only not for the long term so being the kind of person I was and still I am I moved to "pastures view").




(this week I saw the film that was produced in 1982 "QURELLE" that I saw at the begininig of 1983 for the 1st time with my boyfriend and we had a "fuck" to remeber a lifetime; I am not querelle myself but I have chosen mine and if I have got to be someone in that little story I can be thye lutenet played by Franco Nero but this film is so hot because talks about two things that are taboo for us human beings death and sex )

Last night my evening carer was reading me a book in which the top question came about. WHO AM I?





Well actually upon reflection on it I though that is not the most important question but WHY. DO I THINK THAT I NEED TO ASK MYSELF WHO AM I?





Perhapas the most importatnt question is WHO ARE WE?





Why this all obsesion with individuality, we can not blame everything in the "pusuits" of Americans , most certainly they have a lot to answer for but not everything.





I come from a nation that has it share of pain and I live in that also has had that, now is the turn of Americans and probably the one after are the Chinese but we will see. In anycase we need to abandon the idea of individualism for as long its a confrontation with colectivity, is it imposible to think of and individual at the same time that we think about his or her comunity and by this I dont mean their village.


........................................................................................................................................................................





In the next picture I will publish shows the desk on side of the bed, holding not only a bottle of water with flower remdies that I will drink over night also in the same drawer I will put one of the urine bottles so I can urine without going to the oilet (it would be a real nightmare for me if I feel like using it in the middle of the night or in the early morning); it also shows the top of the desk where I have the telephone with its charger, the little box/machine that enables me to use the panic alarm whenever I need it, the control of the bed,the speaking clock, the remote control for the digital radio, a little hand towel (blue), a handerchief, the weights that I put around my wrists and ankles, the american "smoking" stick, one shell that I got as a gift last year from New Zeland that is suppoused to have healing or magical powers and a harmoniser on top of an amethist crystal with a crust of wide quarz (amethists are suppoused to be one of the crystals specialy for the people like me who is Pisces).





I hope I dont forget anything.

........................................................................................................................................................................

Does Does O O O Does O O O Does Does

Ah! one more thing I just remembered.

When you have blood stain in any of you cloths or bed sheets you soak them in the hydrogen pyroxide (you know the same that we use for bleaching the hair) soaked well but be a bit tight with it and then you put the cloth or the sheet in the washing machine with other things and it, hopefully, will come out at the end of the wash without the blood stain.

Also if we put hydrogen pyroxide together with sodium bicarbonate (it can be the same on we use to bake ) its like having OXYCLEANER it cleans very well or extremely well every surface.

Friday the 7th of December

Today I am going to publish two forda pictures with litlle "treasures" that I have in this flat; this are quite important things for me so this is why I publish them; but before a few thoughts that I want to share with you.

The weekend of the 24 of November I started to have pain in the front corner in the head and most certainly after getting upset (well I am a men after all what do you want) (a woman friend of mine in spain told me if men had to have children because the pain in it the planet would be childless...do you know what I meant by my last "quick" thought ?) with the doctor that so kindly came to do home emergency visit I started to get much better. Regarding the pain because there are two side effects well actually three that I was not counting with; hopefully two of them will disapear in some time but the third one I think that will stay with me for a while if not forever. I see much less good (I dont like to use the word worse) and although this is a complete suprising develepment the other two although still suprising I can look at them in a funny point of view (Thank God for this); for one of them I need you to imagine the near frendships that some crabs or spiders have in which they move "arms like" towards their mouth well this is what I imagine it to be and that is how I share it to you also it could be seen as a flashing light incredibely quickly and rather small, its difficult to describe so I hope you can use your imagination, the other side effect with me for the time being is one that you need to use your imagination again, take in your imaginationation one plastic bag that is transparent and translusive that has water in it but frozen water and then imagine that you try to see through (funny isn't it) well do notice that sometimes I see double or that I manage to see the third dimention of things that was denied to me once my left eye decided to go on holidays on the left since the begining of the year 2000...

....................................................................................................................................................................

Now I will publish the pictures of the two little treasures that I have.

One is the picture of the shelf that has got the imagine of feather serpent with the offerings of quinoa and two containers, containing filtered water and 3 moonstones. The feather serpernt came about as a serpent or a snake on stone that my friend Iona gave me 7 or 8 years ago, the stone is from Esnodonia and this snake is cley and was made by Iona and now next year I want her to glue feathers to the serpent because in the Aztec mythology the feather serpent is the most important sybol for "QUETZ ACOTEL" (I hope I am spelling it right) and I got the first feather because about 2 years ago I was obsesed with cleansing my home since it seemed that needed my attention constantly (still does) by having little repairs needed to be done one after another so I though that maybe some cleansing ceremony needed and since I tried with some native american indian "parafernalia" I thought that it was time for somking/cleansing ceremony not knowing me (I start things and never finish many of them) I got the tools but I didnt do it and now its how I have this that is like a shran to that particular God or symbol. Since this God didnt reuire and usually any human sacrifice but products of the mans work in a farm I thought of offering it the quinoa that I change very month and when I do I polish the whole shelf; The moonstones are because they are the stones for Pisces and I am a Pisces they are in water because mine is a water since besides they help to mostiurise the air; I change the water twice a week and its filtered.

This other picture shows the oxygen production corner in the living room that is the day room for me it has 9 plants all together, but one is dying (I think) the aloe vera and another one (the big tall one) I got from the rubbish bin outside, can you imagine it? and it looks lovely, gorgeus very healthy indeed, some people are creazy believe me.

On the shelf I have a golden Ivy and an African Violet and in betwwen them I have another God or symbol a little bronze statue of the elephant god in the hindu religion called GARNESH (again I hope I spelled right); in hindu religion they say that its the son of Shiva and Parvati but I like to think that it was worship before the invention in human mind before the whole hindu teology and it was delegated to be the child born form Parvati from Shiva (quite a story that happend maybe about 12 thousand years ago but ,hello!, this me only thinking this and maybe its just the showing of my madness ).

I do have a new exercise that I started to do today and later on I thought of a possible variation; once added to the routine it takes only 30 to 40 sec more so no time really. Once I make the pictures I will publish them and you will see how easy it is.

Thursday the 6th of December 2007

Today I was going to continue publishing text and pictures of many things I have in this "treasure" flat but something totaly suprising happened yesterday and as usual was something good coming from something bad; although my mental and physical parts are still (let me stress me the word still because I dont think it will be forever) not working well because last week I had a migrane maybe it was neuralgial my spiritual site is working extremely well beacuse yesterday my intuition gave me a big suprise.

I had been thinking about my body loosing weight but apart from talking with my friends Iona and Collin about it I was doing nothing about it but yesterday when trousers what size were 37 although they were suppoused to be 44 when I put them they were complitely loose around my waist I went into a near panic mood; first I contacted on the telephone THT direct they couldnt help me at all ( I dont know why there are they actually sometimes they can do absolutely niothing they are useless absolutely useless) then I contected an specialistness in my local hospital and as she could not help me at all I contacted the nutritionist that comes always very helpful when there is a problem (Charlotte Watts) and she suggested that I could have an increment in the "healthy fats" like extra virgin olive oil, seeds and nuts, oily fish and fatted yogurt. Well I do it quite a lot of fish already (whether its fatty or not I dont know but I do it anyway) I do have seeds and nuts in my diet as you may know and the yogurt I have is made from from goats milk and more often that not tends to be made form kefir; about oil I was having olive sometimes grape seed and the olive is extra virgin always, so I substituted everytime I have grapeseed for olive and sometimes I even increased it; but the suprise came now, I dont know why I thought wallnuts and I put them in my breakfast 2 a day) and even I thought of having them from time to time as a snack when I get in bed in the evenings. Later that evening I thought of searching the Internet to find out what ever it was there in wallnuts that I could benefit from and I found what I paste you below. I think its absolutely amazing and I will not say anything else about that, only paste that.


Medicinal Benefits In one region of southern France known as Perigord the long-standing traditional diet is very high in fried foods, rich meats, and fatty patés. Yet, the people suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. At first medical experts explained this phenomenon by attributing this miracle to the red wine they drink. Red wine is known for its superior antioxidants to protect the heart. Yet, the residents of this region didn't drink any more red wine than those in other parts of Europe. Closer examination revealed that their daily green salads were dressed with walnut oil and chopped walnuts, helping to lower their levels of LDL and overall cholesterol in the bloodstream.
A study published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, May 1994, showed that those whose diets included nuts, either walnuts or almonds, were able to lower their LDL cholesterol by 9 to 10%.
Another study that appeared in the Journal of the American Dietetic Association, July 1995, found that walnuts could also diminish the extent of heart damage after a heart attack.
From ancient times through the nineteenth century herbalists prescribed the walnut, the bark, the roots, and the leaves as an astringent, a laxative, a purgative to induce vomiting, a styptic to stop bleeding, a vermifuge to expel worms or parasites, and a hepatic to tone the liver. The walnut served to induce sweating, cure diarrhea, soothe sore gums and skin diseases, cure herpes, and relieve inflamed tonsils.
The nut itself was used to prevent weight gain, calm hysteria, eliminate morning sickness, and to strengthen one's constitution. The hulls were boiled and used to treat head and body lice, herpes, intestinal parasites and worms, skin diseases, and liver ailments. The leaf was decocted to cure boils, eczema, hives, ulcers, and sores.
Even the walnut oil was employed as a medicinal aid. It was first diluted before it was used to treat colic, dandruff, dry hair, gangrene, and open wounds, while the green rind of the walnut was used to treat ringworm.
Nutritional Benefits Nuts are a highly concentrated form of excellent nutrition; however, it's important to stress that they ought to be eaten in moderation. Because walnuts, like other nuts, are high in fats, it's important to note they are also high in calories.
While one-fourth cup of raw, unsalted walnuts contains 180 calories, be aware they contain 18 grams of fat, 1.5 grams saturated. The fat in walnuts is mostly polyunsaturated. If you are watching the fat, you can calculate your fat intake by dividing the 77% of calories from fat by the180 calories to learn that a one-fourth cup serving contains 43% fat. That percentage may sound high, but it should not discourage a healthy person from gaining nutritional benefits from eating walnuts in small quantities.
Walnuts are rich in protein, providing 7 grams for that same one-fourth cup, 2 grams of fiber, and only 7 grams of carbohydrates. Walnuts can be considered a super food because they contain a full complement of vitamins, including B1, B2, B3, B5, B6 and folic acid. They also contain a wealth of minerals, such as iron, magnesium, potassium, and zinc.
Walnuts contain Vitamin E--alpha, beta, delta and gamma-tocopherol, making it exceptionally high in antioxidants.
Nutritionists tell us that Omega 3 fatty acids are found in only a few plant food sources, yet are essential to a healthy body. In a 2,000-calorie diet, 3 tablespoons of walnuts will provide our daily requirement of these Omega 3 fatty acids.

Here I show you the little machines that appears white and blue; little it may look but its big regarding my health care. It is an air purifier ioniser it consumes that equivalent of "bulb" day so not very much electricity consuming but it is removing very much needed negative ions that I could get only if I were living by the see with the water hiting the rocks, the water hiting water in the waterfalls around that planet or in the middle of forrests and here I am living in the middle of London , with no sea , waterfall or forrest inside... (anyway ...)

In this picture also appears the chest of draws made from hard wicker and with an black iron structure; on it I have the hands free telephone, the speaking cube clock from the RNIB the pinhole sunglases and the latest edition of the ANTI MRSA gell that I bought form St Johns ambulance na that I use every time I use the bottle to urine.

As you can see on the pictures above and below I have also energy symbols like the ones REIKI but in this case they are egipcians given to me by my friend Josechu; I think that the pictures are self explanatory I don't need to say too much only that the one below has also the computer in which my PA works for doing this blog. This very very helpfull desk costed me only 44 pounds in Argos and for the computer I pay less that 21 pounds a month that it will be untill the middle of 2010. About the computer screen I made a mistake of thinking that bigger would do better and I bought one that is also TV that is 27 inches big wide screen and high definition costed me only less than 28 pounds a month until the middle of 2009 but the mistake was to think that by seing something bigger I would see better and when I had it I realised the mistake, many people do it so I did this also. I have brain damage not eye damage. So taking adavntage of a difficulty with the bigger screen I bought this one that is made for computer actually and its big enough 22 inch widescreen; since the sound was "crap" I eneded up buing speakers and for everything I payed the lovely amount of money of 194 pound last May and I think it was worth it.

Wednesday the 5th of December 2007

Although I am not a buddist believer I feel quite close spiritually to budda but without buddism (if this is contradictory we need to think that I am living contradiction myself). As you can see in this piture I have a buddist cloth in the entrance of my flat; I do have also aother one facing the window in the kitchen (but on the opposite wall of the window but this one I dont show it to you now as you can see in that picture below is only on wall in the hall at the entrance of the flat)

in this other picture I show you two things the bed side table with the touch activated lamp and some essential oils but on top of the bedside table there is also a similar cloth to the one that I show you in the picture above but different; actually very different as this one was sold to me as the Protector and I do hope that is doing that well. It is facing the window in my bedroom and the reason is that is fengshui belief all the windows in the house is through wall the evil or negative energy comes into the house and its recomended to have a mirror opposite any window but since I am a very stylish "queen" I do choose to have mirrors where it looks nice, besides this one is doing more than just that I hope it protects me also in health point of view.

On the bed side table I got a touch activated lamp that I bought in Argos (most of the thing I have are cheap but with style ) and I have some essential oil bottles; Geranium for skin complains, Tea tree for any skin infections and for some lighter infections I might use lavender also, peper mint and lemon to put in to the daily foot bath that I have every evening and finally although very importantly Thyme that I find out from the girlfriend of a friend of mine over 3 years ago that is very good for bringing any infection from inside the body outside (any infection to do with breathing) and of course this happens quite a lot in my case but thanks to all the care I do about myself I haven't have any fever acces since March 2005.

Monday the 3rd of December 2007

Recovering I am from a weekend of emotional exces; as I told you on Saturday I just love having old friends (well not so old ,after all, they are ladies and ladies are ageless) from my home town back in Spain, ...

I will post now a new revised menu that is, more or less, like the one that I put a few days ago but a few changes were made. One of them is that I "discovered" the importance of PH balance in the food and of course I have made some changes mostly in the breakfast time in order to acomodate that but most probably will change more because of PH. Also I was having a lot of food in the evenings and I remebered what my friend M.Messenger (the "M" to me is Margeuritte and to some people is Margo and I prefer the long name because is fluidic, it represents more the woman that she is I think) told me about the amount of the meals that actually is much better to have not much , amount wise, for supper as the body can rest better; so I tried to achieve that but bringing into consideration that because of all the physical exercise I do I need to eat well but a lot otherwise I become strong and healthy but very slim indeed and I don't like it; I dont want look fat but neither slim; so for example the soup that was in the supper now is with the lunch and I reduced much of the rice,quinoa or potatoes for supper but I increased the amount in lunch after all, I do all my exercising in the morning and early afternoon. And I hope to sleep better by eating less (we'll see ... )


BREAKFAST
Before leaving the bed Elfrid has a glass of water with one drop of Tea Tree, this one to be added to the water immidietly before he has it, with all the antiHIV medication (a few minutes after he will have Mate Tea).
Monday to Sunday is porridge that it will be 50 grams of scottish porridge oats and the grounding of 4 brazil nuts with 1 teaspoon of the following: pumpkin, sunflower,lin and hemp seeds - grounded well and mixed with the porridge. All of this is mixed with rice milk and put in the microwave for 1 min, when it comes out you stir it well and add more coconut milk if necessary before serving put for 30 sec in microvawe then put a tea spoon of cinnamon powder-stiring it well add more rice milk if necessary.










LUNCH


MONDAY- 120grms of buckwheat pasta, then you blend with the frying of one steak or loin of tuna fish that has been defrosted to which has been added two tbls spoons of extra virginolive oil, a chopped and crushced clove of garlic, one tea spoon of the following: chives, oregano and parsley and capers (washed), add salt if necceaasy. (don't blend it too well because Elfrid likes to chew a little bit) In the blender you put another clove of garlic and 25 mustard seeds.
Tuesday – Half of butternut squash (or whole one depending on size) that needs to be steamed , The butternut squash is blended together with 1/2 jar of anchovies plus the the juice of a whole lemon and 1 teaspoon of chives
Wednesday –Defrosted cod that has been stir fried in the wok with grapeseed oil and one clove of garlic then blended together with 175g of beetroot and 50 grams of quinoa. In the blender you need to add 1 clove of garlic, less that half of goats milk yogurt (this is kefir yogurt home made), a tea spoon of capers that have been washed , 1 teaspoon of chives and 1 teaspoon of Xylitol.



Thursday – you put in the wok 2 table spoons of extra virgin olive oil, squid that has been defrosted since wednesday evening, two chopped cloves of garlic and one tea spoon of the following: parsley, thyme and chives. when done you put in the blender with 250gr of boiled potatoes and another clove of garlic, the juice of half of a lemon and adjust the salt , blend well.

Friday – 200 grams of potatoes, one tb spoon grape seed oil, one chopped or crushed clove of garlic together with a loin or steak of sword fish that is defrosted ( when you put it in the wok it need to be cut in 4 pices) add tea spoon of the following orgena, reosemary, tyme and chives also 25 mustard seeds. Once the fish is ready you add less that one half of goats milk yogurt (home made) and a tea spoon of capers.Blend well with a clove of garlic.
Saturday – 100 grms of boiled basmati brown rice blended with 150g of steamed broccolli and 1 regular size carrot, that need to be steamed also,(100g aprox.) In the blender you need to put the rice and the steamed vegs, a glove of garlic, eight olives and the juice of a whole Lemon.You blend it well and serve( remember on wednesday morning before you came to work to buy a broccolli for that day only).


Sunday – 120 grms of boiled rice with 1 tomato (raw and cut) in the blender with a big clove of garlic and 1 teaspoon of oregano and parsley (also one rounded tea spoon of wheat grass powder). When ready to blend remeber to put, a teaspoon of Tahini, 1 tablespoon of extra virginolive Oil and a half of a jar of olives + juice of the half lemon.( the wheat grass goes into it because on sunday supper we have no soup so the wheat grass has to go into the lunch) and a clove of garlic)


Note - Everyday for lunch Elfrid has a cup of soup with a rounded tea spoon of wheat grass powder stired vigourously . (on sundays there is no soup so the drink becomes water and the wheatgrass powder goes go to the food)
After lunch the PA needs to leave on the table a cup of magnetised water with a table spoon of homemade honegar ; ( 5 drops of flower remedies-remeber the evening ones) into one cup of juice made from one banana one pink grapefruit and a pinch of ginger.








SUPPER/DINNER
Monday – One omellete of three eggs with two big cloves of garlic and 100 grams of well scratched crisps (Kettle, lightly salted, 150 grams but after scratching you will use only 100 g); put in the frying pan 1 tb spoon of grape seed oil.
Tuesday–60 grams of Quinoa, that has been washed and boiled, 1 teaspoon of the following: oregano, parsley and thyme, one tablespoon of each seaweed approx 5 grams of each), soaked for 10 mins before using, 1/4 jar of olives, one clove of garlic , half of Avocado adjust the salt + 1 tbs of grape seed oil
(remember to put to defrost the cod for Wednesday lunch)
Wednesday – with the boiling of one aubergine and onion blend well with 1 medium clove of garlic, 2 fresh tomatoes & 1 tea spoon of: rosemary, oregano, thyme and parsley.(remember to put to defrost squid , for thursday lunch).
Thursday – You need to put in the blender 20 gr of goat's milk cheese (1 ball) plus the grounding of 1 table spoon of hempseeds, a pinch of tumeric, a half avocado also 40 grams of quinoa , 1 cloves of garlic, 30 seeds of mustard, 20 olives,1 teaspoon of Kombu seaweed soaked for 10 mins, 1 tablespoon of grapeseed oil and the juice of half lemon, all in the blender with 1 tea spoon of the following: rosemary, oregano, thyme and mint. Blended all together.ADJUST THE SALT!
(remeber to take from the freezer and put in the fridge one steak or loin of swordfish so it will be defrosted for fridays lunch)
Friday – 200 of spinach, 50g of boiled potatoes, a white of a boiled egg , 75g of beetroot, 1 tea spoon of the following : rosemary, oregano,and thyme, juice of half a lemon, and 1 clove of garlic, all of this is blended together with 30 mustard seeds,5-6 grams teaspoon of Wakame seaweed soaked for 10 mins
(Remember to take out of 75 grams of frozen anchiovies for Saturdays supper)
Saturday - In the blender you put 75gms anchioves (that have been washed, soaking for ten minutes). one clove of garlic, a tea spoon of the following: rosemary, 1 teaspoon of Arame seaweed soaked for 10 mins, oregano, thyme and parsley, a quarter jar of olives. Add 1 table spoon of grapeseed oil, the juice of half lemon, 75 grms of quinoa , 20 grms of goats cheese (1 ball) .(remember to take from the freezer and put in the fridge 100grms of mussels so they will be ready for sunday supper)
Sunday – Vegetable Salad (boiled only). with the white of an egg (boiled also), 75grs of boiled carrots that have to be washed and together with this you put ¼ of a jar of olives plus 1 tablespoon of grapeseed oil, the juice of a half lemon, and a pinch of turmeric; when going to blend add one teaspoon of kombu and another oneof wakame (seaweeds, approx 5 grams of each), that need to be soaked for at least 10 mins before using. All of this is blended well together with 100 grms of already defrosed mussels. (rember to take out of freezer put into the fridge one tuna steak for monday lunch)
NOTE: for supper Elfrid has normaly a "lemon drink" cup (see datails below)


The mate tea is for breakfast.
Put One good teaspoon of Mate Tea into a cup and a few drops of cold magnetised water enough to wet the mate,then put 3/4 of hot boilig (also magnetised) water. Leave to brew in the mug(Covered) for FIVE minutes and then drain the water off pouring through the sieve into another cup,or mug.Then sweaten it with Sweatener called ZYLOSWEET(One Teaspoon and stir well):Once this is done you add five drops of the FLOWER REMEDIES that are prepared in the living room,and then give to Elfrid with one straw,that could be the one used to give him the water with TEA TREE,but make sure that the liquid has cooled enough,if needed add a bit of cold water before giving it to him.




The soup if for lunch
one cup of soup(to which has to be added one rounded tea spoon of wheat grass powder, stiring well) the soup is made fresh every monday and thursday morning and is made as follows, In a pot put 1 tbs of grape seed oil,1 tbs of each of the seaweeds, 1 aubergine cut inpices, one cucumber also cut, 200grms of carrot and a full bag of spinaches, 1500mils of magnetised and filtered water add salt and boil for 20 mins, when cooked leave to cool down, and add 1 tea spoon of the following seeds that have been grinded (pumpkin, sunflower, lin, hemp)when ready to blend add 6 cloves of garlic, the juice of a half of a lemon, blend well and adjust the salt if necessary . This soup that will do Monday to Saturday is one of the drinks for.





The lemon drink is for supper.
consists of a lemon drink that is made as follows: put in the blender 300ml of filter water,1 whole lemon(to which the seeds had been taken out never peelled, and cut in 8) and 1 tblspoon of extra virgin olive oil, blend well for 3 minutes and then siev (pressing with a spoon in order to get the maximum of the liquid) all of this into a special cup (one of those that have 2 handles).







Everyday after lunch Elfrid has on the table 2 drinks. First drink Honegar with water (500 grams of honey to 500 grams of cider vinegar blended together for ten mins(the honey if necessary needs to be boiled in the container to make it soft)).




The other drink is the juice; you put in the blender 1 large banana pink grapefruip (pink one tastes less bitter) and one pinch of ginger; you blen for about 3 mins and then pass through a sieve into a cup.




On wednesday and friday lunch we have home made yogurt made with kefir grains this yougurt made form kefir takes approx 16 to 20 days to be made; after a few days of the kefir grains "meeting the goats milk about half of the quantity will be converted into whey that Elfrid drinks it because is very good for his gut once the kefir converts the milk into yogurt get the kefir grains out because if not it becomes difficult to separate the grains from the yogurt,

Saturday the 1st of December 2007

Worlds AIDS DAY. I dont know whether to congratulate myself or to feel pitty about me.

Anyway yesterday when I mentioned to you a few things that I am doing about my health I forgot to mention that I have a personal magnetiser around my neck as a pendant that although I bought the cheapest one ot looks very good around my neck.
....................................................................................................................................................

As I told you yesterday I am receiving the visit of three friends of mine from my home town this weekend. One of them is one of my closest friends and I am really excited about everyone coming but especially about her (not physically excited although it shows through my mouth and my behaviour ) and I find it all a little bit too much. You see in my home town we are quite loud not only speaking but behaving and I used to be the wild one among my friends and everybody who knows me in my home town so you can imagine the chaotic scenes that we have here but I like it very much is breaking some kind of isolation that although I was living with I didn't pay much attention to it until now. (I really miss to be in my home town)

Although in my case because circumstances of my yourney in life brought me to it I realize how important its to have a clesely need knitted circle or need of friends.

When I was drinking alcohol I used to have many,many friends as you may know I am a highly sociable person, but when I became recovering alcoholic I lost most of them (in around of 95 per cent most probably) ; people that had put on with me through my HIV diagnosis and posterior living with disapeared after I was declaring myself recovering alcoholic , after this I made a lot of "recovery room" friends and these ones also disapeared around 10 years ago when I became a person living with AIDS. So this is why now I am house bound not so much because physically I cannot get out (that I cannot much anyway) but because I have nowhere to go and nobody to see. In the last few years once my speech and look became more acceptable and changing to daily used trousers instead of pyjamas bottoms (was a big change ) I started to call my all hometown mates and to my suprise although geograficaly a long way away from me they seemed to be open and receptive towards having the friendship reignited . So lucky for me .

So this is why I am here today having this visitors and this is why I am so excited and today is Worlds AIDS Day .

(sorry I am just enjoing myslef at the moment)