Sunday, March 30, 2008

Sunday, 30 March 2008
A few months ago (perhaps as long as 1 year, or maybe 2) I told you that Ayurveda medicine meant "popular medicine". Well, I was and I am wrong in telling you so because today I found out what it really means.
At the moment I am reading a book called QUANTUM HEALING by Deepak Chopra and I am reading many very good different stories, and perhaps there will be one that might help me to get out of the "rocky" situation that I find myself in; but for the moment I just want to tell you about Ayurveda.
It seems that Ayurveda comes from 2 Sanskrit roots; 1 root the word Ayus meaning Life and the other word is Veda meaning Knowledge, Wisdom or Science. So, obviously, the Ayurveda is the combination for saying Life Wisdom or if we're talking about medicine - Life Science or even Science of Life, more certainly used popularly in India but doesn't mean it is popular medicine or folk medicine as I thought.
SORRY!

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

I am sure Wenday 26Th of March
I do not want you to get the wrong idea about the people I have as carers for the last 10 years. Most certainly I am very gratefully to all the people that in one way or an other look after me for this Lent of time but although some few people were carers as such, most of them that got the job were just looking for a job no wanting to do care work specifically.
Now for you to judged I will paste the ad that I place whenever I look for a carer.

My name is Elfrid Walkingtree I am a gay man of 48 years of age (gay in life-style and in my sexuality but the applicant needs to be helping me with life-style only), HIV positive (19 years since diagnosis) with brain damage -P.M.L.(speech difficulty not able of walking, writing nor reading, registered partially blind and nor hands dexterity), wheelchair user and house bound, living in North Kensington area of London (so applicants must live locally). Seeks personal assistant in home care legally self employed (this will change to becoming employee in the future) with a UK bank account and with a minimum 6 months experience( this experience needs to be if possible from no agency work) in a similar kind of job (personal assistance in home care). The commitment with this job is for six months to a year minimum, possibly two years or more. Male or female but preferably male (since the job implies working in the evenings it is better if a man does it as it is not too safe, unfortunately, for a woman to end work late having to travel far away to her home), The minimum age required is of 20 years old, non smoker (healthy in general), good personal hygienic presence (not only for the interview but everyday), very patient(caring but not smothering) and being able of working in their own (alone) . Timetable is as follows: Monday 9:00AM till 2:30PM, Tuesday 9:30 AM till 2:30PM and then 7:00PM till 10:00PM, Wednesday 9:30AM till 14:30PM , Thursday 9:00Am till 2:30PM , Friday 9:30 AM till 2:30PM and Saturday 10:00AM till 3:00PM and then 7PM till 10PM, making a total of 37 hours per week ( please note that this is not a living in position ) . Starting salary £10p/h (this salary includes any extra time like hospital appointments). The job consists mainly of cleaning, reading(very important), cooking and as I am at home all the time using the computer by the carer this 'use' needs to be very good and applicants command of English language needs to be also very good (No for themselves for the somebody also). Training in the job will be provided by the PA that is leaving, for one week only. Starting on Monday the 10Th of March; if interested you can call me between the hours of 10am and 8pm on 02089608239. No agencies, please.
As you can see I am quiet clear about everything regarding me, my circumstances, needs and what I do require from the applicant.
Well I got people applying for the job from Germany, Poland, Ibiza, Hungary, the Philippines, Sao paulo(Brasil), Birmingham, Mexico and so on and on. I make quiet clear that the command of English language needs to be good and I get people that because they are good in academies of English or they are defending quiet well speaking English in the streets of London they think they will be good enough for working here and then they found that my English is so good that they might think I was born here or even studied here when I have done neither, is only that my cultural level is very good; they could see this when they come for the interview but instead of getting this idea they think that I got money because I look healthy, I dress well and I know how to decorate my home and so they think that is no style just that I am rich ( two very different things in my experience)
About three weeks ago I watched in '4ON DEMAND' the first program of 'MY BEST NEW FRIEND' and I realise that short of killing somebody or having sex that they don't like some people will do absolutely anything for money so no wonder that they get this job without looking at the 'job'.
They has to be a balance for everything. Many thousands years ago we were given the TAO on it was something that we call YING AND YANG that although we have two words for it is only one single thing; so in the perspective of CARERS I need to give you the other side also. Some of the people that were here (very few, maybe three or four) describe how I treat them as if I was talking to a slave and, well, the reality for me is very different but to be fair maybe how I look and sound(let's face it I'm a big guy looking healthy and fit and my knowledge compare to that of them often is quiet good) very arrogant and quiet despotic but of cause I cannot ask the great majority of those people to use the word DESPOT as is not in their vocabulary so they use the very distressing (for me) word SLAVE.
We have the reality of somebody who's paid very well to do a job and then we have the reality of somebody who's not paid to do that job and is telling them how to do it, on top of that is totally disable having great difficulty in speaking as part of the all package of disability; and here we have the critic situation in which one feels damaged by the other and the other feels damaged as well.
When I speak so loud I am expressing frustration and perhaps comes also anger.
For quiet a few years I did take counseling or psychotherapy, NLP, Soul Retrieval (part of my shamanic training), soft classical music and everything else you can imagine in order to tame my anger only to discover at the hand that is more frustration then anger.
When you stop taking recreational drugs (in here I include alcohol and tobacco) because you are an addict you discover a part of yourself that lied hidden within you that most non-addict people manage to keep under control; this side of you is what I call your dark side (no of the Moon) that is necessary for becoming a human being as the light side (well in my experience); this is what comes out in recovering addicts when they have to go the 'extra mile'.
So again all in all I have to be very great full to all those people that have helped me for the last ten years and let me say thank you to the ones I have not met yet and I will meet.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Monday24Th of March
It is not easy at all, to find home care workers, beside my character still the one of a very independent person who has not adapted to becoming disable. One factor I did not see before is that although I live on estate Benefits I do pay my carers quiet well but first mistake, I put all the advertisement in a very general Home care website and I get a very general kind of people that are very interested in the job for the job not about me, they seem to be interested on how heavy is the work load and somehow they look only at their hourly rate because they can see that they can get very good amount of money pretty shortly, and lately I discover that if they have any economic problems they can work here and sort out their finances; First of all they are self employed so they pay taxes to Inland Revenue like everybody else ones a year but unlike everybody else only less than £2 per week so if they are "legal" they can get weekly between £350.00 and £360.00; that is not bad at all.
I will illustrate now these with a few examples; I had a person last July, getting the job, who told me that he was going to study medicine and then he would go to Africa (obviously he saw the movie THE LAST KING of SCOTLAND and was seing Africa tru a romantic filter glass, exately the last thing Africa needs) 2 months after (sometime around the middle of September) he told me that he was not going to study medicine anymore and since he had moved closed to where I am living so I thought I had to give him the benefit of the doubt; 2months later after showing me that he was not very good in the job I decided to keep him extending the benefit of the doubt. When he came for the interview in July he had told me that he will try keep in the job for two years or so and to my surprise at beginning of January this year completely out of the blue he told me that because of family problems back home (he's from Poland) he needed to leave and a few days later of this surprise I found out that his economic problems had been sorted in the time he worked here. So obviously he did not need to support Elfrid anymore having in mind that sometimes Elfrid can get quiet angry speaking very loudly. Than I had a guy who told me he was a doctor but he lasted here only one month and never show any medical discipline at all.
At the end March 2006 I had a guy who new everything about my circumstances ( in the advert I always state that i have HIV) but 2months after taking the job then he "ask" me weather he needed to take an HIV test and when I asked him why he told me that because he had been working with me for 2 months already, of cause; I could not believe it... On the 13Th of December that same year he told me that as he was 32 years old he could not see himself being a carer when he was going to be 40 years old; he left on the 26 of January 2007, after I had found an other person to substitute him and after he tried to hurt me (not physically) for the last month of being here and the echoes of his actions continue until today (metaphorically speaking of cause).
I firmly believe that people from the former Soviet Union bloc are not good at all in the Field of HIV as they are full of fear and ignorance and we all know what these two lead to that in turn result in more, again, fear and ignorance. There are, of cause, exceptions to this comment; thanks haven for them!
So all in all I have not had any good experience in the Home carer from as 97% of the people applying for the job are just unemployed and they want that job.

Sunday, March 23, 2008


Sunday, 23 March 2008






Before than what I thought I can post now the pictures of the 3 exercises that I stopped doing in order to have less of a pain in my neck, shoulders, and upper half of the spine.



I hope you can understand the exercises I mean.


I have started to do 2 more exercises but will improve, hopefully, my neck movement; as i don't have pictures for this ones I hope that just my words will be enough.
Starting on the left shoulder looking as much back as I possibly can with eyes straight I hold for about 4 seconds and then whole head moves to the left shoulder where it holds again for 4 seconds. I do this motion 10 times. After this one I put the head back looking straight at the ceiling and again I hold the head for 4 seconds and then slowly (so I will not get dizzy) I move the head to face the floor and hold for another 4 seconds.
The slow motion does also go for when the head moves from the right shoulder to the left one and vice-versa.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Saturday the 22nd of March
Yesterday I was telling you that I was walking up a hill today I am strolling leisurely on a plateau but still in the Dark Side of the Moon, of cause.
On Thursday I was telling you that I have a Paine located in my neck, shoulders and the middle upper part of my spine; well a few months ago I found out that when you are in a wheelchair all day you have that kind of Paine but I thought it was too much in the last few weeks so I decided to stop doing some of the morning exercises that work out my neck, shoulders and upper half of the spine and so far the Paine has reduce quiet a lot in intensity; this coming week i will post the photographs.
Sometimes intuition works very well.
Apart from this, I downloaded a while ago "LA Cageaux FOLLES" Number 2, now I got also number 1 and I am hoping to finish the downloading, pretty soon, number 3; I saw many, many years ago number 1 and a few months ago number 2 so I am going to enjoy very much to have the 3.
So the two reasons express above make my living in the Dark Side of the Moon lighter.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Friday 21st of march
Lately I read the thoughts that other people might live as comments of the blog I post; usually I do not comment on any of them however, one was left after the 4Th of march posting telling me that I would better be in the dark side the Moon.
Well 48 years ago I was born in the light side of the moon and for the following 19 years I live in that side thinking that I did not belong there; the following 4 years while still in the light side of the moon I was enjoying my spar time in the dark side of the moon; since September 1983 I live all the time in the dark side of the moon sometimes enjoying it very much but sometimes falling into an Avis of despair and desolation, I was here on the 19Th of March, on the 20Th I was in a valley, today I seem to be walking up a hill and I do not know where I will be tomorrow but it will be in the dark side of the moon as i belong here.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Thursday, 20 March 2008
On Monday, 18 February I saw a movie (IT'S MY PARTY) that gave me the reason why I was not finding any story regarding PML apart from the medical records that are completely useless for living one's life. The reason why there is no one to tell the story about PML is because they are all dead; in a very twisted way death when you have PML can be a blessing in disguise, however in my case PML is from today 10 years and although something creative is coming out in the last few weeks, most time of the 10 years were a continuous nightmare.
let's face it, society is not ready for somebody with PML to live this long.
Whenever I meet other disabled people I get common identification in the way that my individual problems are not a reality for me exclusively but nearly every other severely disabled person experiences those kind of problems at one time or another or sometimes all at the same time; and so I found out that Social Services do not work for anybody except for the people working in the Social Services department (as I say very often "they sit on very expensive chairs"). I have written several letters to my local MP and I never got a satisfaction from her at all, many letters- yes, plenty; but answers - none. So everybody seems to be playing the game of bureaucracy in an imaginary castle. The voluntary organisations try to do as much as they can, but let's face it they are voluntary they don't get paid, so there is so much they can do.
it seems that AIDS only remembered on Christmas, so at this time of year the charity organisations get money from the public in general but the rest of the year - nothing; however people like me live the whole year, not just Christmas.
The housing is a problem for everybody, but in my case it's even worse; as I am in a wheelchair full-time I need to propel myself everywhere in my flat, the nightmare that it is for me moving from one room to another when I am alone (when I am with a carer, the carer pushes the chair) is only noticed in the pain I feel in my neck, shoulders and upper back. But since I live in a house for somebody with mobility problems, nobody gives a damn to the fact that I do not have mobility problems, I just don't walk, that is a different thing all together.
So, all in all this last 10 years would have been better if I had died sooner, so I would not be such a difficult person to be looked after by all the different people that helped me through this last 10 years. TO ALL THOSE PEOPLE, PASSED AND PRESENT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH INDEED FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, BUT I WILL BE STILL CRYING OUT THE SAME STUPID THINGS THAT I CRIED OUT BEFORE.
TODAY ALSO IS THE 25TH BIRTHDAY OF MY EVENING CARER, SO JOIN ME TO WISH HIM HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOO.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Thursday 13th of March
two days ago I posted the menu, now two days later I made the firs change.
In the morning the first thing I have is the cup of warm water with one drop of tea tree; well from today onward it will be only half a cup no drop of tea tree.
Also I was having in the late morning early afternoon a cup of warm water with table spoon of honegar; well from yesterday is half a cup of water only but still the same amount of honegar.
For the moment is all the changes but these ones are on line with the idea of having less liquid because according to Chinese medicine we have all the water that we need from the food that we eat and I do have plenty of saliva anyway.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Wednesday, 12th of March
It is time of fantasy; In my mind I am starting to think about whenever I am going to be less disable(there is a new story about Mexico that I found by reading the book Quantum Healing by Deepak Chopra but I will tell all about some another time. It seems quite hope full though).
There was time when I thought of becoming a gardener, but being the arrogant person sometimes still that was a big to simple for me so I thought after I becoming well a landscape gardener; once I got of the idea and my arrogance becaming more a humility thing I thought of becoming a shop assistant in a clothes shop and after I grew out of this I Drag Queen and now I am back where i was25 years ago well thinking that I can be again a creator but from the artistic point of view no from the mystical one because a from the spiritual point of view we are all creators or I better say co-creators. Creating a form an artistic point of view I mean that I have tendencies to play roles that are not me and I feel that I have capacity to make believe that are giving space is something also by arranging the furniture in a particular way or the playing with the light or even using paint to make to appear different if you do know what I mean come to my home and you will understand (of course this is a figure of speech because unless you get to know me you will not come to my home but hopefully you will understand what I mean).
All this of becoming a creator from the artistic point of view comes from because I am starting to think ways in which the photographic thing (SEEDS) can produce some art work that means reality but is using fantasy and of course before getting HIV I was realising that my ideas for entertaining people were quite good I only needed to improve the language that those people use(no my language theirs) and now after going thru learning shamanism I come to wanting to be a story teller and of course I cant just tell a story with word in the mouth or in a paper a screen of the Internet but by creating something like a movie or play and this is I will try to do from now on but of course having the challanges that being disable brings to me.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Tuesday, 11 March 2008

BREAKFAST
Everyday (Monday to Sunday) the breakfast is devided into 3 stages. First consist of a cup of magnetised water (loor warm) with a drop of a teat tree oil and the morning medication (this one needs to be given to Elfrid as soon as possible while he is still in bed); Ten or 15 mins later Elfrid has the second part of the breakfast that is a cup of matte tea that has been brewing for 5 mins with a well stirred rouded tea spoon of lions mane and a lavel tea spoon of xylitol; abuot 30 mins later, more or less, comes the porridge that it will be 75 grams of scottish porridge oats and the grounding of 3 brazil nuts, 3 walnuts (6 halves), with 1 teaspoon of the following: pumpkin, sunflower, lin and hepm seeds (roast all nuts and seeds together for 12 mins and stir half way) - ground well and mixed with the porridge and rice milk. Put in the microwave for 1 min, when it comes out you stir it well and add more rice milk if necessary before serving put for 30 sec in the microvawe then put a tea spoon of cinnamon powder-stiring it well add more rice milk . (On Thursdays you need to put to soak 1 teaspoon of Arame seaweed and put to boil 40 grams of quiona)






LUNCH

MONDAY- 150grms of buckwheat pasta, then you blend with the frying of one quarter of a steak of tuna of tuna fish that has been defrosted to which has been added two tbls spoons of extra virginolive oil, 25 grams of cockless (that have been defrosted, with the tuna, from the day before), a chopped and crushced clove of garlic, one tea spoon of the following: chives, oregano and parsley and capers (washed), add salt if necceaasy. (don't blend it too well because Elfrid likes to chew a little bit) In the blender you put another clove of garlic and 25 mustard seeds.(remeber to peel and boil the sweet potatoes so they will be ready for supper and leave soaking the seaweed also)
Tuesday – Half of butternut squash (or whole one depending on size) that needs to be steamed , The butternut squash is blended together with 1/2 jar of anchovies plus the the juice of a whole lemon and 1 teaspoon of chives (remember to leave soaking a tea spoon of each seaweeds, that is approx 5grams of each also rember to boil the quinoa)
Wednesday –Defrosted half of a steak of cod that has been stir fried in the wok with 2 tbs of olive oil, 50 grams of cockless (also defrosted) and one clove of garlic then blended together with 150 grams of quinoa. In the blender you need to add 1 clove of garlic, less that half of goats milk yogurt (this is kefir yogurt home made), a tea spoon of capers that have been washed , 1 teaspoon of chives and 1 teaspoon of brown Sugar and adjust the salt. (remeber to boil the Aubergine and onion for supper)
Thursday – You need to put in the blender (after warming up in the wok with the exeption of the olives) the grounding of 1 table spoon of hempseeds, a pinch of tumeric, a half avocado, 40 grams of quinoa, 1 cloves of garlic, 20 olives, the seaweed that needs to be soaked, 1 tablespoon of olive oil and cider vinegar all in the blender with 1 tea spoon of the following rosemary, oregano, thyme and mint. Blended all together. Adjust the salt.

Friday – 125 grams of rice blended with the frying of a qurter of a steak of sword fish that is defrosted together 50 grams of cockles ( when you put in the wok the swordfish need to be cut in 4 pices) add tea spoon of the following orgena, reosemary, tyme and chives also add a chopped clove of garlic; all of this has to be fried with 2tb spoons of extra virging olive oil. Once the fish is ready you add less that one half of goats milk yogurt (home made) and a tea spoon of capers (washed) + 1 tea spoon of brown sugar Adjust the salt.. Blend well with an extra clove of garlic.
Saturday – 75 grms of boiled basmati brown rice blended with 150g of steamed broccolli and 1 regular size carrot, that need to be steamed also,(100g aprox.) In the blender you need to put the rice and the steamed vegs and eight olives .You blend it well and serve Adjust the salt .(remember to boil 100grams of quinoa for supper).
Sunday – 120 grms of boiled rice with 1 tomato (raw and cut) in the blender with a big clove of garlic and 1 teaspoon of oregano and parsley (also one rounded tea spoon of wheat grass powder). When ready to blend remeber to put, a teaspoon of Tahini, 1 tablespoon of extra virginolive Oil and a half of a jar of olives + 1 tbs of cider Vinegar.( the wheat grass goes into it because on sunday supper we have no soup so the wheat grass has to go into the lunch) and a clove of garlic remember to boil and peel it firs the sweet potatoesand to boil only the carrots and egg)


Note - Monday to Saturday Elfrid has a pice of fruit steamed (between 10 and 12 minutes), pealed and cut in quaters; so the lunch is as followas first the cup of soup then the main dish and after the steamed fruit (Monday and Thursday is apple, Tuesday and Friday is pear, finnaly Wednesday and Saturday is mango. No fruit on Sunday). Also Monday to Saturday for lunch Elfrid has a cup of soup with a rounded tea spoon of wheat grass powder stired well . (on sundays there is no soup, so the wheatgrass powder goes to the food)
After lunch the PA needs to leave on the table a cup of magnetised water with a table spoon of homemade honegar, 5 drops of flower's remedies ( the evening ones becuse the second dosses of the morning one has been added to the soup or on Sundays to the food) .
Please make sure that the food is always look warm never cold.

SUPPER
Monday – 75 grams of sweet potatos warmed in the wok together with 1 whole boiled egg, the sea weed that has been soaking all afternoon, 1/2 of a jar of pitted olives and a generous pinch of ginger. Once warmed in a wok this is put in the blender with one tea spoon of umeboshi . Blend well.
Tuesday–60 grams of Quinoa, 1 teaspoon of the following: oregano, parsley and thyme, the seaweed that has been soaking since the lunch time , one clove of garlic , half of Avocado + 1 tbs of olive oil. All of this has to be warmed up in the wok before blending it adjusting the salt if neccesary.(remember to put to defrost half of one cod steak for Wednesday lunch together with 50 grams of cockless)
Wednesday –after warming up in the wok one aubergine, one medium onion, one clove of garlic , 2 fresh tomatoes, a tea spoon of: rosemary, oregano, thyme and parsley blend well .
Thursday – you put in the wok 2 table spoons of extra virgin olive oil, two chopped cloves of garlic, 1tea spoon of the following parsley, thyme and chives, also put in the wok 2 tomatoes, 1 table spoon on Capers and 125 grams of rice.Now blend everything after warming it up, adjust the salt. (remeber to take from the freezer and put in the fridge one quarter of a steak or loin of swordfish so it will be defrosted for fridays lunch; as well with 50 grams of cockless)
Friday – A whole packet of beetroot and also of alfalfa sprouts and four halves of bamboo shoots are warmed up before blending well (when blending add 1 teaspoon of UMEBOSHI).
Saturday - In the blender (again after warming it up in the wok with the exeption of the olives) you put one whole aubergine that has been boiling one clove of garlic, a tea spoon of the following rosemary, oregano, thyme and parsley, a quarter jar of olives . Add 1 table spoon of olive oil, 100 grms of quinoa.
Sunday – 75 grams of sweet potatoes, a whole boiled egg, 100grs of carrots and together with this you put a tablespoon of olive oil, a pinch of turmeric. All of this has to be warmed up before blending it well with a 1/2 of a jar of olives, one tea spoon of umeboshi and another tea spoon of Vinegar, blend well. (remember to put to defrost a qurter of a tuna steak and 25 grams of cockles, also remember to leave soaking over night for next days soup a qurter of a cup of black beans)


NOTE: whether it is supper or luch Elfrid has no drink with it as the soup is suppoused to be food. as there is no obvious drink for supper the evening medication is taken with a less than a third of a cup (look warm) magnetised water after the food.Before he gets into bed, later, he takes his melatonin tablet and the anti Hiv medication that has to be taken ideally 12 hrs apart from the morning one with just a little bit of magnetised water (again look warm).
Remeber that all the supers need to be slightly warmed in the wok before blending them.
Soup (for lunch)
that is made fresh every Monday and Thursday but its a different receipe for each day.
Monday Soup. You put in a pot 2 tbs of olive oil, 1500 mils of magnetised water, the black beans that have been soaking over night and 3 water chestnuts, for half an hour but after 18 mins of this half of an hour you put 100 grms of carrots and after 2 mins of this you add half of a bunch of asparagus (remember to cut off the thick part), after 4 minuts of this cooking you add 100 grams of celery,one peeled cucmber and one orange; after two minutes of this last two things we add 6 halves of bamboo shoots andwhen its left only one min for all of it to be cooked you add a full bag of an already cooked in natural water beetroot (250 grms). Now the whole soup is allowed to cool down for about half an hour and then we add 1 tbs spoon of grounded black sesame seeds and half of level tea spoon of dried ginger; after stirring well you blend well well and divide in 3 portions putting them in the fridge.
Thursday Soup. You put in a pot 2 tbs of olive oil, 1500 mils of magnetised water, 3 water chestnuts, for half an hour but after 18 mins of this half of an hour you put 100 grms of carrots and after 2 mins of this you add pepper (red or yellow) , after 4 minuts of this cooking you add 100 grams of celery,one peeled cucmber ,100 grms of broccoli and one orange ; after 4 minutes of the three things we add 1 whole bag of spinach and of watercress + two tomatoes. After this last action you boil all the soup for 2 min and then the whole soup is allowed to cool down for about half an hour and then we add 1 tbs spoon of grounded black sesame seeds and half of level tea spoon of dried ginger; after stirring well you blend well well and divide in 3 portions putting them in the fridge.
Every day in the late morning and early afternoon there is one drink left on the table, home made honegar with water and the five drops of the morning flower remedies (for the second time because the first one was put with the breakfast)(the buch of home made honegar is made as follows 500 grams of organic honey put to 500 mls of cider vinegar blended together for ten mins; the honey might need to be boiled in the container to make it soft. After blending use a flannel to put it into a one litre bottle ).
On wednesday and friday for lunch I have home made yogurt. this yougurt made form kefir grains that takes approx 16 to 20 days to be made; after a few days of the kefir grains "meeting the goats milk (full fat as aparently semi skimmed has added flavour so its not very natural) about half of the quantity will be converted into whey that I drink it because is very beneficial for my gut once the kefir converts the milk into yogurt get the kefir grains out because if not it becomes too thick and therefore very difficult to separate the grains from the yogurt,

Sunday, March 09, 2008

Sunday, 9 March 2008

This afternoon I watched for the 3rd time the TV film ANGELS IN AMERICA. The first time I watched it on Channel 4, 3 years ago, more or less, and my inner reaction then was of astonishment to see that such a subject with very edgy characters had been shown on national TV but maybe the TV audience was more grown up that what I thought then; about 2 weeks ago i watched it for the 2nd time and this weekend (on Saturday I watched the first half and today the second) i watched it for the 3rd time. The second time I watched it I cried a lot and I was hoping that the character played by Al Pacino could be a little bit nasty; however this weekend as I watched it for the 3rd time I didn't cry a single tear and then I realised that most of the people in the outside world from my flat are nastier that the character played by Al Pacino. Of course, everyone has a justification for being the way they are, and I might see them as nasty, but they don't see themselves as such. It hurts me though that some people who came into close contact with me in the last 10 years might think i am nasty when in reality I don't think that of myself. So, we have me thinking that people are nasty when they don't think so and people thinking that I am nasty when I don't think so. Here we have a conflict and this is what TV movie was all about - conflict. And it took me 3 watchings and an emotional detachment to see that from TV movie.
About 19 days ago i watched a movie that was produces many, many years ago called IT'S MY PARTY in which the main character to my big surprise had a classic case of PML; so this is the reason why I don't know anybody with PML, because they all die; the main character in this movie killed himself out of fear of dying a horrible death that PML gives whoever has it. Luckily or unluckily (depends on how I look at it) my PML is not the classical one but nonetheless watching this movie gave me an anger that I didn't know existed within me. This anger went into frustration. Frustration from watching IT'S MY PARTY and annoyance coming from disgust that was given to me from watching ANGEL IN AMERICA produces this blog.
I was waiting until 20 March to mention the movie IT'S MY PARTY and perhaps I will still do but after today's feelings i had to talk about it.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

4th of March
I talk, talk, talk so much and I am so happy talking that sometimes, only sometimes, I forget what I said in a previous time. I explain.
It seems that last Friday when I met the photographers (they suggested to call the group SEEDS and I agreed with this) i said I did not have time to listen to any music; Well actually that was not true (so much for somebody who thinks that speaks only the truth); the reality is that I listen to music in the mornings when I do exercise but i only hear it i do not actually listen, however in the evenings when I am in bed I listen to very relaxing, classic music but I forgot this when i said, that I did not listen to any misic. Well it is not to late to rectify and this is what I am doing now as I did before when we met again.
(I blame the new moon for this; we have a new moon in pisces on Thursday)

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Sunday, 2 March 2008

A "new kid in the blog" has arrived, see more posts in this blog in the future so you can enjoy the result of this arrival.
Last Friday, 22 February at around 5.15 pm 4 (2 male and 2 female) students from LCC arrived to my home to help me to start to communicate using image by having photographs or short, very short indeed, moving pictures with the idea of communicating a little story or a message to whoever might watch this anywhere that can be placed.
I do have great hopes for the result of this as from now on i will be able of putting in practice with other people's help what learned in Madrid between 1983-1985; at this time I was living in Madrid and attending "Taller de Artes Imaginarias" (TAI) where i did not only dramatic art but i learned not much of film direction so hopefully now we can tell stories using images that will not be precisely a film, but hopefully we will manage to speak with images a story.
We have no name yet for this group, but could be something like the Storytellers; I am trying to find out through AQUINOX (they are the ones I usually get my year forecast from) the astrological prognostic of that but they say that they don't do that kind of chart but they will try to find out for me.
I don't drink champaign (well, i don't drink any alcohol anyway) but if I did I would have a celebration now.