saturday 30th September

Spirituliality is communication, nothing less and nothing more.This communication needs to be between two subjects and with all basic communication first, one is calledEmisor and the other is called receptor secondly the receptor is called Emisor and the Emisor is called Receptor, and so on....this is basic communication.

It is essential that the communication needs to be between two subjects, the subject can be an individual or a collectivity. If comunication is happening between a subject an object there might be comminication happening but this communicaation is not a spirirituality.

This, although quite clear to me might be confusing to other people; when a person puts their hands together in a supposed pray or dialogue with God this is only one form of spirituality and no more important than a conversation between two friends for as long as God has a dialogue with the person praying. So according to this the Primeminister of this country has some explanation to make; he said that before sending the troops to Iraq he prayed to God but what we dont know is whether if his God ansewer him back or maybe he left his action of praying without engaging in the communication and therefore not having a spirituality in that communication.

A sprituality is making the bed.

A spirituality is cooking.

A spirituality is cleaning the car.

We understand that the psychological uncoverings of the last 200 years that every prerson is made up of ego, super ego and something called it also called sometimes socialbrain and not very often inner adult. So communication can happen within oneself only, say for example between the ego and the it. So here we have a spirituality becoming a reality for the individual or self.

Enough of "serious" stuff.

I think we have got into winter already; I think we have seen the best of the summer (and the worst also) unti 2007.

I find out that I watch DVD movies using my computer. A few months ago I bought , on instalments, a big (27 inch,wide screen and high definition) monitor and if i put a DVD in the computer I can watch comfortably well, any movie. So far I have watched Shrek 1 and 2, Bruce Almighty (rubbish), collateral (not so good), and American Pie 2 (sometimes I wonder wht gets into my mind!); I love shrek, mostly 1 because 2 although it was very good it was , also, clear to me that they were exploiting the success of number1. I identified with 2 characters in the first one princess Fiona when she was in a tower of a dark castle that was on a rock in the middle of a lake pumping hot and melting rock, being the castle guarded by my second character identification a dragon(female!?I do not mind). In the next 2 weeks I am planning to watch 4 more movies. they are madagascar (animation), broke buck mountain, memoirs of a geisha and pirates of the carribean (the curse of the black pearl).

Friday the 29th of September

Sorry for keeping in the subject of "assuming".This seems to be a neverending theme and is very easy for me to fall into commenting about on and on and on...

Hopefully i will finish for the time being with today examples.One very easy and common misassuming is the concept of seeing Osama Bin Laden as a plain terrorist when he is more then just that.He is to me and i will explain why a trafficant,"drug" trafficant that at the end of his "traffic" in order to achieve his goal causes terror, therefor making Islam to aprear a religion spreading terror.

Once a philosopher that had much influence called Karl Marks said that religion was the opium of the masses.Well Osama is dealing with that "opium".A few years ago, maybe 20 yeras ago, there were program of recovery for junk people getting addicted to very addictive drugs like heroin.There was at the begining an intempt of recovering them into able members of society using mere biological means;as this prove not to be enough the thinking brains of society tyhought that as with AA was doing in America mainly some spirituality was needed into the projects of recovering addicts.As a spirituality in religion is usually confused as an integral part of religion, exclusivly(i don't agree with this)this spirituality from religion was combined with the biklogical means to the recovery addicts.For a while it seems to work, so much that some people thought that maybe religion was enough to recivery addicts.Here is were Osama makes sense of his wrong way.

If we see at the ages of the people that are his usual "mupets" that carry out the killing of innocents that causes terror in everybody else, this ages are the usual age of people being addicted to psychotropic drugs or with mind very much being able of being influenced by any strong thought like fundametalist religion.

Religion by it self is not bad for human kind but some people make a fundamental principle in their lifes to make their way of finding God.The way for every one or they need to die.

When you find urself in darkness and suddenly u find somebody eith some light if that light is directed to the ground u are standing on it illuminattes the way that u need to walk.But some peoople knowing that we maybe in darkness put the light infront of our eyes(we were blind with darkness but to much light can blind us too)whatever they tell us to do we might think that cos they have the source of light they maybe right. Two things about that , they may have only a temporary light and only the supreme being has got the eternal one and that source of light maybe a torch and as we know this needs batteries...

so as we can see here the people making the horrible acts of killing other people for their own egoitistical benefit are in the same proccess that Goerge W. Bush was and perhaps is still cos recovery(as i very well know myself) is a life ongoing proccess.However the "moral" majority of America has boughted him to be The President of USA.And Tony Blair wants to get on this bank Wagon it seems.If we look at his last or fairwell speech to The Labour party;we see as an speech that is Mesianic, patronising and egocentric.Very aprocreate for giving the speeches in America after he is no longer the Prime Minister in this country.Let's not forget that America is "controlled" by a religious moral majority that are vthe ones that will pay him after he is no longer Prime Minister here.

Thurday 28th ofSeptember

First of all i have to apologise because my brian damage affects my coordination and therefor i can make all of this a reality by somebody else attempting to understand what i say (not easy task) and writing it. So some words might be the result of the person who is writing trying to guess what i say but the whole idea is mine.Apologise once again.

Once i started to write this i started to selfcriticisim so i am going all over again about what i sad that i could have sad.For example the name of this blog is the holy spirit of elfrid,oh yes,it is only the name it was accpeted by this organisation but, once i thought more about it, it's a very good name because we can understand that my spirit is holy but in the general "spirit" of what i say everybodies spirit is holy so by dedaction mine is too.

Another thing i keep going over constantly is about assuming that wonderfull is a very positive thing when is not, sometimes is positive and sometimes is negative. Further more on this. We hear quite a lot the word or sentence "The HIV virus... ";HIV means HUMAN IMMUNODEFICENCY VIRUS so when we say HIV virus we are saying Human Immunodeficency Virus Virus so we are repeating twice word virus.For goodness me when anybody says Hiv stop them there stop them say "HIV virus... "

Another assumption is when people say "the virus causes AIDS..." .Maybe those people know something that i dont know cos AIDS is a syndrom,this is a group of illnesses not a single one only.Over 25 years ago the scientific community managed to isolate HIV. In a press conference they sad that this virus was a propable cause of AIDS, i would like u to isolate the word propable here. Well over 4 years ago now there was an add on TV that proclaim that carlsberg was propably the best lager in the world ; nobody assume that carlsberg is the best lager in the world however everybody assumes that HIV is the cause of AIDS(ha!ha!not me).

Another common assumption is that the prolongator of the Christian teachings from Jesus Christ Peter also called St.Peter because he was killed in Rome(the capital of Known World only at that time ) the huge palace that is vatican city nowdays is stopping the Pope from moving away from Rome.The Roman branch of Christianity will never beproperly Catholic (this word only means universal)until the Pope leaves Rome forever.Why do we need to sassume that the Pope needs to be in Rome?

Another common assumption is the one that "comes" to our help when we need help to get out of a problem.This is usually called psychotherapy or counceling or some other therapies like NLP(Neuro Linguistic Programing) that was uncivered to be of not much help as an individual therapy and somehow found its way into marketing.This "therapies" are more like going to the dentist to clean ur mouth after having a meal.Hello! After having a meal if u need to clean ur mouth might be a good idea but use a brush with some toothpaste or rinse ur mouth with a mouthwash liquid, use dental floss or maybe u can find another alternative but giong to the dentist so the dentist will be happy in themselfs cos they are of help to others is a bit too much.Lets not forget that this so called "therapists" came from America where people use "big" cash to get form one point to another when in europe we find that a small car will do the same(a samll car often call utilitary). Personaly i prefer a bus or tube and some people may use other teransport forms that might not be a danger for the global warming getting worse.

Wednesday 27th of September

Yesterday i was saying that living is wonderfull and life is great. You need to take this with a pinch of salt.

"Life is great" you have to take it to account that i consider myself as a "gay queen" so accordingly with this statement i do preciate the greatness of my life.

I do have a very nice roof that i call HOME, FLAT. It was not being decorated for the last 30 years and the people who lived there before me seems that they took it only as an empty space to fill in with their lives.With the help of many advisors,with the help of my succesive PA's and mainly with help of my permanent friends i have managed to give it a fresh face that is very personal but full of good style.But some of my neighbours seems to disagree with personalising space and when they see somebody who looks different they try to fight that difference cos they are use to everything in their lifes without personality or "colour"... My friends and PA's mainkly have carried out my wishes in doing that whether they agree with that didn't matter,so i have achived a space,my space,that is highly stylish but there was at every step, the risk of failier, the risk of doing something crazy because this is the result of my brain damage that athought it affects mainly my physical body after so many years of not using the body properly i risk becoming mad.

The living as i say is wonderrfull but also as i say we need to take this with a pinch of salt and if u don't believe me ask Alice when she venture in the wonderland.Wonder can be good or bad;"Alice in Wonderland" does not spacified that Alice got a very good and lovely time every time there. So when i say that my life is wondwerfull yes i stated the fact that my life is full of wonder not that everything is good.But then as i live in social benefits all of them i paid in time,usually;I have very nice people looking after me except the social worker;I seem to be recovering well from brain damage facilitated by HIV.So althought having this can be a hard i am beyond that point and i am looking very much to face the future, my future,whatever it may be.Something i have learned from dealing with the situation for last 8 and a 1/2 years is that if i apply patience and curiosity into any situation i will find a way out of it and its not any more a problematic situation.

Tuesday 26th of September

Last night i explained how i arrived to calling me Elfrid from Alfredo. This afternoon i am going to explain you how i got to Walkingtree from Boto Alvarez. The first word Boto is coming from my father and the second one,obviously is coming from my mother. About 23 years ago i paid for the "cote of arms" to be done in Madrid and therefor i know that the family boto represented by 2 red cows are comig from the NW of Portugal where they serve the King of Portugal on the sea (so they were fisherman). This family came to NW of Spain aeround 400 years ago. The family Alvarez his story is a bit more obscure ( perhaps because this name is as common in Spain like the name Patel in India) but perhaps cos i was paying i was told that they were coming from the Romans.

So with such "common" family names no wonder being the "queen" that i am i wanted a surname more "original" and "classy". One day in the late summer of 1995 i was cleaning leaf by leaf, Ficcus and Benjamina that i had in my front room in Queensbridge Road (Hackney) at the time; as i do talk with my plants,well with any plant and also to animals i happened to be saying to the plant when i was cleaning her that she was very beautifull and i tought that she told me back (at least i felt so in my head) that yes but you are more beautifull; i asked har what she mean by saying so and she told me well it's obvious you are a walking tree. At this moment i need to explain that i was starting to walk the path of shamanism so i didn't know what walking tree meant straight away.As i did not understand the name i asked her what she meant by that and she replied that in the scale of evolution on this planet human being were the next step from trees that we could change our roots while trees were always in a fixed place.After a while of thinking with myself i understood this point that a walking tree means human being so a few months later i changed legally my name to Elf-rid Walking-tree but after the suggestion from the lawyer that the signs will be lost in my name the final name was Elf-rid Walkingtree. Therefor meaning my whole name "The human being who speaks or like Elfs". I love it.

Finally after so many years of sufferinf with my own blood family i was able of saying "I am my own family!".

But all in all i have a wonderfull living and life is great.

Next week i will publish some pictures after i become blond and pictures of some of my rooms.

This is pretending to be an ongoing diary of what is my beautiful and sometimes horrible life. The title is the only one that i could have accepted by this comercial company. I hope nobody gets put off by it.
My spirit is not more holy then anyones and there is one thruth in the title, my legal name in this country is Elfrid but if i travel out of the country like going to my native Spain i become immediately Alfredo.
If to Alfredo take the letter o at the end will become Alfred.Before Christianity became official religion in Europe Afred became Elfrid;Elfrid is compose of two words Elf and Rid meaning the one who speaks with or like the Elfs; This is because "rid" means "speaking with" or "like".The whole word of Elf-rid is a Saxon word coming from the High Saxony region in north Germany. That when europe became christianiased as it happened with all the pogan symbols began transform into word Alfred.
And although "holy spirit of elfrid" means nothing to me everybody who reads this has to find out that was the only available choice for me to write.