1st of January 2008
Well I told you that I was not going to post anything in the rest of the year of 2007 and so I did; but now we are in a New Year so I will.
Last Wednesday, boxing day, in the afternoon I was feeling not very well with the old migraine pain on the right side of my head and stomach pains that I identify as pancreas or more exactly the spleen; that night I went to bed quite early and I slept nearly 11 hours therefore allowing my body to heal itself and next day I asked my assistant to search the Internet for something that could be food like and good for the spleen and we found the following document. I publish it but obviously its not my writing so I hope there will be no problem.
The Spleen
Just as the Earth is the centre of the cosmos from the viewpoint of a human being, 'Earth's Organ', the Spleen, is seen as holding a central place in the human body. Our well-being can be seen as dependent on our ability to absorb and process nourishment. This is the realm of the Spleen in Chinese medicine. The Spleen is responsible for providing the nourishment which supports all aspects of healthy functioning. It is an Organ of transformation and nourishment.Through the transforming action of the Spleen food becomes nutritional substances, information is digested and transformed into knowledge and sensual experience is received and transformed into a core sense of well-being. It is also through the Spleen that healing energy is received into the body . The Spleen is responsible for nourishment. A strong Spleen ensures that a person is well nourished. A weak Spleen may result in being undernourished. At the physical level it is possible to eat a good diet yet not be strong enough to convert the food into proper nourishment. At the emotional level one may be in an apparently nourishing situation yet still be unable to receive the available nourishment.In the history of Chinese medicine whole schools have grown up around the idea that in the treatment of all illness we must first address the Spleen and its paired Organ, the Stomach. Without this central ability to transform food and experiences into nourishment, life lacks its central support. So let us look a little more closely at the realm of the Spleen and how we can support and strengthen Spleen energy.The Spleen's Physical RealmThe Spleen's transformative action is best embodied in the digestive process and the Spleen may be taken to refer to the whole digestive tract from mouth to anus and all the various juices and transformative agents released along the way. This includes the pancreas which secretes enzymes into the small intestine to assist in the assimilation of nutrients. One measure of the Spleen's strength is the vigour of the digestive system. Its transformative action converts food into Blood and Qi.The strength of Blood and Qi are, therefore, significantly dependent on the Spleen. The nourishment generated by the Spleen is transported along the meridians, through the soft tissues of the body. The Blood and Qi, derived from the original transformation within the digestive system, invigorate the soft tissues and give them tone. Soft tissues support the structure of the physical body, keeping things in place, holding up the body and giving it shape. With poor tone in the soft tissues a body feels and looks saggy and in extreme cases may suffer from prolapse. When the Spleen is strong, physical vitality is also strong and the soft tissues provide the body with good support. The Spleen may therefore be seen as the provider of the body's physical tone.The Spleen's Non-Physical RealmThe Spleen is said to house the power of Thought, the 'Yi' of Chinese medicine, the power to concentrate and apply the mind. This is an odd concept to the western mind, so what does it mean? The digestive process is mirrored at the mental level by the thinking process. Digestion begins with a desire to eat which leads to the intake of food. The food is then sorted into what is usable and sent to where it can be used or stored in the body. What cannot be used is excreted. The thinking process follows a similar path: the desire for knowledge leads to the intake of information which is then sifted and sorted. Whatever can be put to immediate use is applied and the rest is stored for later. Irrelevant or unusable information is rejected and forgotten.Our everyday language reflects just how similar and related these processes are. We talk of 'food for thought', of being 'unable to digest certain information', of 'verbal diarrhoea', of 'eating our words', of 'chewing over an idea'. Most of us will also recognise more obvious physical connections such as being unable to concentrate after eating too much, or developing food cravings during intense periods of study or not being able to eat when we are worried (a knotted form of thinking). The Latin proverb Mens sana in corpore sano, a healthy mind in a healthy body, underlines the relationship between physical vitality and mental alertness.If the Spleen governs the power of thought at the mental level, at the emotional level it governs feelings of concern both for self and for others. A healthy concern for our own needs leads us to nourish ourselves emotionally and, if we are ourselves emotionally nourished, we can give appropriate nourishment to those we care about. Strong Spleen energy lays the groundwork for a healthy emotional life in which needs are satisfied; we are able to overflow into life with generosity rather than grasp at life from a hungry place of lack.Turned inward, concern may become self-concern, a self-absorption which leads to Stagnation of energy. Turned outward, concern may become overconcern for the needs of others where, like the naked man who offers another a coat, we project our own need onto others and give from an unbalanced place. This perpetuates a distortion of Spleen energy into the wider community.Psychologically the Spleen also has to do with issues of nourishment and support. Spleen energy is mature when we are able to nourish ourselves from within, when we feel self-supporting and are not driven so much by need but by an overflowing of our own abundance. This is a tall order! In a culture where traditional systems of support (the sense of community, tribe, family) have largely broken down, most people experience a crying out for support and nourishment. To work with the Spleen we need to work with emotional nourishment as well as physical.Archetypally the Spleen is related to the mother. In the process of growing up the needs that are initially provided for by the mother are increasingly provided for by the growing child itself. Eventually a person develops an 'internal mother', an ability to find comfort and nourishment from within. At this point in development the Spleen energy can be said to mature.The Well-Nourished SpleenAbundant Spleen energy will tend to generate a deep inner sense of well-being and a wonderful sense of ease and comfort in the body. We feel content, enjoy the pleasures of life, and have a deep relationship with our own sensuality. We feel abundant at all levels, equally able to give and receive generously. Digestion is relaxed and efficient, the body feels supported and toned, the mind is clear and able to concentrate well. We are grounded, as in touch with the earth as we are with our body, and we rest secure in the knowledge that we are safe and deservedly looked after by the divine Mother, Providence or whatever name we give to the provider of our needs. When the Spleen is in disharmony there is usually a poor ability to digest food. This will often be mirrored by a decreased ability to receive emotional nourishment. Often weak concentration is linked with difficulty in sifting and sorting nutrients in the physical body. Sometimes, when deeply hungry for love, we turn instead to food to bury our pain. When feeling emotionally unnourished the body may contract and impede the flow of nourishment into the soft tissues; or the posture may collapse, especially the middle section of the torso and at the lumbar-sacral joint, giving up in both an emotional and physical sense.Nourishing the Spleen The Spleen loves touch. Anything we can do to feed ourselves at this most fundamental level will strengthen the Spleen. Deprived of touch, the human being shrivels up, behaves crazily and sinks into depression. Touch is as fundamental a need as food, so supporting the Spleen also means entering a deeply sensual relationship with the body. To receive bodywork, to cuddle friends and family, to touch oneself lovingly: all these are ways to strengthen the Spleen. Often we focus on food when in fact this other fundamental need, the need for contact, is the secret cure.We can maintain the tone and free flow of nourishment in soft tissues by stretching. The Spleen loves to stretch. Stretching eases constriction and opens the flow of nutrients into the muscles. It is a good way to enter into a relaxed relationship with the body. Other ways include learning how to fall, crawl and roll around on the ground. This playful approach reconnects with the earth and helps the body develop trust in the earth's support. When we innately trust the earth to support us, internal resistance to gravity softens, our energy becomes more grounded and the effort used in holding the body upright can be freed to give the body more vitality.Touch, stretching and physically reconnecting to the earth all direct us to becoming more fully embodied. Being comfortably at home in the body is the natural expression of Spleen energy. In the touch-deprived, over-sedentary and ungrounded lifestyle typical of modern culture, the Spleen has a hard time. Of all the Organs, the Spleen is the most commonly deficient.As well as finding groundedness in the body, we can create grounding in our daily lives. We can do this by creating structure and routine in the otherwise chaotic nature of daily life. A structured life is a Spleen-supportive life. This may be as simple as creating a daily space to drink tea, meditate, sit with a book, write in a journal, massage the body, anything which nourishes. It may also mean eating regular meals or keeping regular sleeping and waking times. Routine and structure create a constant, safe and dependable place in our lives, an external support for the Spleen.We can extend this idea of structure to the physical structure we live in, the home. The home is an external mirror of the internal condition of the Spleen. Creating a comfortable and safe home can also be seen as creating an external support for the Spleen. The Spleen longs for a sense of home and it is no coincidence that people who travel a lot find that their Spleen energy is often put under extra strain. Many illnesses actually have their source in a kind of homesickness, a deep need to feel the security and care that belongs, or should have belonged, to one's childhood home. Creating a sense of home, even when moving from one place to another, will support the Spleen.A short anecdote illustrates this last point. I once fell into conversation with a man on a train in India. When he found out that I worked within the healing professions he asked me what he could do about his chronic sinus congestion. Our conversation eventually led back to his original home which he had left because of his job. It turned out that, although he had been to several doctors and tried many medicines, the sinus problem was relieved by nothing except his return home. At home his sinus problems would vanish. The deep loss of home was simply too stressful for him. From a Chinese medicine point of view, the Spleen processes the moisture in food and produces mucus which the Lung then stores. In his case, the Spleen was weakened through homesickness and unable to properly process the moisture in food, creating an excess of its by-product (mucus).The sense of home is vital to the Spleen's health. Ideally, through the childhood experience of secure and nourishing home life, we develop an internal sense of home which enables us to be at home anywhere, independent of place and circumstance. In other words, we become at home in ourselves, accepting of ourselves and comfortably relaxed in our own bodies.Just as it is helpful to stretch and exercise the body, so it is helpful to train the mind. Learning study skills supports the Spleen's function of sifting and sorting information. Clearing out mental clutter, simplifying involvement with the paperwork of modern life, finding ways of working with the perpetually encroaching chaos: these are all ways of supporting the Spleen.The Spleen's emotional territory covers the relationship with needs, and inner feelings of trust and safety. The Spleen calls us to honour our needs and attend to them, to enter a nourishing relationship with ourselves, to become self-nourishing. Unattended to, our needs will find their own way to fulfilment and the more they are ignored the more disruptive this way may be. Asking oneself 'What do I truly need to feel nourished, supported and safe in this world?' is a way of engaging with the Spleen at the emotional level.We can nourish the Spleen in daily life through simple things such as cuddling with someone (even the dog will do!), getting bodywork regularly, making a nesty corner in the home, creating a daily self-nourishing ritual, rolling around on the floor or on the earth, and taking the time to give to ourselves in whatever way we need.Nourishing the Spleen Through FoodThe Spleen likes to feel a satisfied glow of comfort after eating. An eating style that nourishes the Spleen is one that is homely and generous, one that gives attention to the 'feel-good factor', generating a sense of abundance and care.In Chinese medicine the Spleen is said to be nourished by sweet food. This does not mean sugar but rather the deep sweet taste of grains or root vegetables as in rice pudding or pumpkin soup. Generally speaking the Spleen likes well-cooked food such as thick soups or stews which are easy on the digestion; it has more difficulty with raw and cold food. The weaker the Spleen, the more it benefits from well-cooked meals.The Spleen also dislikes being flooded with too much fluid so it is helpful to drink only a little fluid with meals and have most fluid intake between meals. It is helpful to separate fruit and sweetened foods from the main meal, eating them instead as between-meal snacks. This assists the Spleen's function of sifting and sorting and helps reduce digestive fermentation.Chewing well helps the Spleen to digest, and warms chilled or raw food. We can also assist the Spleen by sitting in a relaxed way with an open and untwisted posture. Sitting slumped or twisted will compress the digestive organs and hinder digestion.Aromatic flavours stimulate the digestion, so the inclusion of aromatic herbs and spices in cooking will encourage the Spleen not to become Stagnant. Sweet-flavoured foods, especially foods rich in complex carbohydrates, are used by the Spleen to release energy steadily into the system; they form the centre of a Spleen-supportive diet.Finally, according to the system of correspondences in Chinese medicine it is said that yellow/orange foods such as squash, 'red' lentils or carrot are energetically resonant with the Spleen and will support its functions
Amazing, isn't it? I didn't know so many important facts about the spleen. From now on I pay more attention to it and I have changed already the soup receipe and with my hands I am giving it a lot of body warmth and you know two things that happen already? I sleep better, when I an affraid I feel in company and the migraine pain seems to be less painful.
...........................................................................................................................................
On a Thursday of the last month of December , more or less, I told you that I was going to get rid of a pseudofrindship using a tactic that I got from the Chapter number 5 of Star Wars; do you remeber? Do you remeber , as well, that I was although determined feeling quite sad about it because some pseudofriendships were hard to give up , well it came out than when I gave up the main pseudofriend some other pseudofriendships that I was not counting with came out to be in the open because I thought of them as "real" friends and then came out to be pseudofriends . So all in all I can say that in the year 2007 I left behind some 20 or 25 people including the death of my mother of whom I am starting to find out some things that I dont like at all.
Well I told you that I was not going to post anything in the rest of the year of 2007 and so I did; but now we are in a New Year so I will.
Last Wednesday, boxing day, in the afternoon I was feeling not very well with the old migraine pain on the right side of my head and stomach pains that I identify as pancreas or more exactly the spleen; that night I went to bed quite early and I slept nearly 11 hours therefore allowing my body to heal itself and next day I asked my assistant to search the Internet for something that could be food like and good for the spleen and we found the following document. I publish it but obviously its not my writing so I hope there will be no problem.
The Spleen
Just as the Earth is the centre of the cosmos from the viewpoint of a human being, 'Earth's Organ', the Spleen, is seen as holding a central place in the human body. Our well-being can be seen as dependent on our ability to absorb and process nourishment. This is the realm of the Spleen in Chinese medicine. The Spleen is responsible for providing the nourishment which supports all aspects of healthy functioning. It is an Organ of transformation and nourishment.Through the transforming action of the Spleen food becomes nutritional substances, information is digested and transformed into knowledge and sensual experience is received and transformed into a core sense of well-being. It is also through the Spleen that healing energy is received into the body . The Spleen is responsible for nourishment. A strong Spleen ensures that a person is well nourished. A weak Spleen may result in being undernourished. At the physical level it is possible to eat a good diet yet not be strong enough to convert the food into proper nourishment. At the emotional level one may be in an apparently nourishing situation yet still be unable to receive the available nourishment.In the history of Chinese medicine whole schools have grown up around the idea that in the treatment of all illness we must first address the Spleen and its paired Organ, the Stomach. Without this central ability to transform food and experiences into nourishment, life lacks its central support. So let us look a little more closely at the realm of the Spleen and how we can support and strengthen Spleen energy.The Spleen's Physical RealmThe Spleen's transformative action is best embodied in the digestive process and the Spleen may be taken to refer to the whole digestive tract from mouth to anus and all the various juices and transformative agents released along the way. This includes the pancreas which secretes enzymes into the small intestine to assist in the assimilation of nutrients. One measure of the Spleen's strength is the vigour of the digestive system. Its transformative action converts food into Blood and Qi.The strength of Blood and Qi are, therefore, significantly dependent on the Spleen. The nourishment generated by the Spleen is transported along the meridians, through the soft tissues of the body. The Blood and Qi, derived from the original transformation within the digestive system, invigorate the soft tissues and give them tone. Soft tissues support the structure of the physical body, keeping things in place, holding up the body and giving it shape. With poor tone in the soft tissues a body feels and looks saggy and in extreme cases may suffer from prolapse. When the Spleen is strong, physical vitality is also strong and the soft tissues provide the body with good support. The Spleen may therefore be seen as the provider of the body's physical tone.The Spleen's Non-Physical RealmThe Spleen is said to house the power of Thought, the 'Yi' of Chinese medicine, the power to concentrate and apply the mind. This is an odd concept to the western mind, so what does it mean? The digestive process is mirrored at the mental level by the thinking process. Digestion begins with a desire to eat which leads to the intake of food. The food is then sorted into what is usable and sent to where it can be used or stored in the body. What cannot be used is excreted. The thinking process follows a similar path: the desire for knowledge leads to the intake of information which is then sifted and sorted. Whatever can be put to immediate use is applied and the rest is stored for later. Irrelevant or unusable information is rejected and forgotten.Our everyday language reflects just how similar and related these processes are. We talk of 'food for thought', of being 'unable to digest certain information', of 'verbal diarrhoea', of 'eating our words', of 'chewing over an idea'. Most of us will also recognise more obvious physical connections such as being unable to concentrate after eating too much, or developing food cravings during intense periods of study or not being able to eat when we are worried (a knotted form of thinking). The Latin proverb Mens sana in corpore sano, a healthy mind in a healthy body, underlines the relationship between physical vitality and mental alertness.If the Spleen governs the power of thought at the mental level, at the emotional level it governs feelings of concern both for self and for others. A healthy concern for our own needs leads us to nourish ourselves emotionally and, if we are ourselves emotionally nourished, we can give appropriate nourishment to those we care about. Strong Spleen energy lays the groundwork for a healthy emotional life in which needs are satisfied; we are able to overflow into life with generosity rather than grasp at life from a hungry place of lack.Turned inward, concern may become self-concern, a self-absorption which leads to Stagnation of energy. Turned outward, concern may become overconcern for the needs of others where, like the naked man who offers another a coat, we project our own need onto others and give from an unbalanced place. This perpetuates a distortion of Spleen energy into the wider community.Psychologically the Spleen also has to do with issues of nourishment and support. Spleen energy is mature when we are able to nourish ourselves from within, when we feel self-supporting and are not driven so much by need but by an overflowing of our own abundance. This is a tall order! In a culture where traditional systems of support (the sense of community, tribe, family) have largely broken down, most people experience a crying out for support and nourishment. To work with the Spleen we need to work with emotional nourishment as well as physical.Archetypally the Spleen is related to the mother. In the process of growing up the needs that are initially provided for by the mother are increasingly provided for by the growing child itself. Eventually a person develops an 'internal mother', an ability to find comfort and nourishment from within. At this point in development the Spleen energy can be said to mature.The Well-Nourished SpleenAbundant Spleen energy will tend to generate a deep inner sense of well-being and a wonderful sense of ease and comfort in the body. We feel content, enjoy the pleasures of life, and have a deep relationship with our own sensuality. We feel abundant at all levels, equally able to give and receive generously. Digestion is relaxed and efficient, the body feels supported and toned, the mind is clear and able to concentrate well. We are grounded, as in touch with the earth as we are with our body, and we rest secure in the knowledge that we are safe and deservedly looked after by the divine Mother, Providence or whatever name we give to the provider of our needs. When the Spleen is in disharmony there is usually a poor ability to digest food. This will often be mirrored by a decreased ability to receive emotional nourishment. Often weak concentration is linked with difficulty in sifting and sorting nutrients in the physical body. Sometimes, when deeply hungry for love, we turn instead to food to bury our pain. When feeling emotionally unnourished the body may contract and impede the flow of nourishment into the soft tissues; or the posture may collapse, especially the middle section of the torso and at the lumbar-sacral joint, giving up in both an emotional and physical sense.Nourishing the Spleen The Spleen loves touch. Anything we can do to feed ourselves at this most fundamental level will strengthen the Spleen. Deprived of touch, the human being shrivels up, behaves crazily and sinks into depression. Touch is as fundamental a need as food, so supporting the Spleen also means entering a deeply sensual relationship with the body. To receive bodywork, to cuddle friends and family, to touch oneself lovingly: all these are ways to strengthen the Spleen. Often we focus on food when in fact this other fundamental need, the need for contact, is the secret cure.We can maintain the tone and free flow of nourishment in soft tissues by stretching. The Spleen loves to stretch. Stretching eases constriction and opens the flow of nutrients into the muscles. It is a good way to enter into a relaxed relationship with the body. Other ways include learning how to fall, crawl and roll around on the ground. This playful approach reconnects with the earth and helps the body develop trust in the earth's support. When we innately trust the earth to support us, internal resistance to gravity softens, our energy becomes more grounded and the effort used in holding the body upright can be freed to give the body more vitality.Touch, stretching and physically reconnecting to the earth all direct us to becoming more fully embodied. Being comfortably at home in the body is the natural expression of Spleen energy. In the touch-deprived, over-sedentary and ungrounded lifestyle typical of modern culture, the Spleen has a hard time. Of all the Organs, the Spleen is the most commonly deficient.As well as finding groundedness in the body, we can create grounding in our daily lives. We can do this by creating structure and routine in the otherwise chaotic nature of daily life. A structured life is a Spleen-supportive life. This may be as simple as creating a daily space to drink tea, meditate, sit with a book, write in a journal, massage the body, anything which nourishes. It may also mean eating regular meals or keeping regular sleeping and waking times. Routine and structure create a constant, safe and dependable place in our lives, an external support for the Spleen.We can extend this idea of structure to the physical structure we live in, the home. The home is an external mirror of the internal condition of the Spleen. Creating a comfortable and safe home can also be seen as creating an external support for the Spleen. The Spleen longs for a sense of home and it is no coincidence that people who travel a lot find that their Spleen energy is often put under extra strain. Many illnesses actually have their source in a kind of homesickness, a deep need to feel the security and care that belongs, or should have belonged, to one's childhood home. Creating a sense of home, even when moving from one place to another, will support the Spleen.A short anecdote illustrates this last point. I once fell into conversation with a man on a train in India. When he found out that I worked within the healing professions he asked me what he could do about his chronic sinus congestion. Our conversation eventually led back to his original home which he had left because of his job. It turned out that, although he had been to several doctors and tried many medicines, the sinus problem was relieved by nothing except his return home. At home his sinus problems would vanish. The deep loss of home was simply too stressful for him. From a Chinese medicine point of view, the Spleen processes the moisture in food and produces mucus which the Lung then stores. In his case, the Spleen was weakened through homesickness and unable to properly process the moisture in food, creating an excess of its by-product (mucus).The sense of home is vital to the Spleen's health. Ideally, through the childhood experience of secure and nourishing home life, we develop an internal sense of home which enables us to be at home anywhere, independent of place and circumstance. In other words, we become at home in ourselves, accepting of ourselves and comfortably relaxed in our own bodies.Just as it is helpful to stretch and exercise the body, so it is helpful to train the mind. Learning study skills supports the Spleen's function of sifting and sorting information. Clearing out mental clutter, simplifying involvement with the paperwork of modern life, finding ways of working with the perpetually encroaching chaos: these are all ways of supporting the Spleen.The Spleen's emotional territory covers the relationship with needs, and inner feelings of trust and safety. The Spleen calls us to honour our needs and attend to them, to enter a nourishing relationship with ourselves, to become self-nourishing. Unattended to, our needs will find their own way to fulfilment and the more they are ignored the more disruptive this way may be. Asking oneself 'What do I truly need to feel nourished, supported and safe in this world?' is a way of engaging with the Spleen at the emotional level.We can nourish the Spleen in daily life through simple things such as cuddling with someone (even the dog will do!), getting bodywork regularly, making a nesty corner in the home, creating a daily self-nourishing ritual, rolling around on the floor or on the earth, and taking the time to give to ourselves in whatever way we need.Nourishing the Spleen Through FoodThe Spleen likes to feel a satisfied glow of comfort after eating. An eating style that nourishes the Spleen is one that is homely and generous, one that gives attention to the 'feel-good factor', generating a sense of abundance and care.In Chinese medicine the Spleen is said to be nourished by sweet food. This does not mean sugar but rather the deep sweet taste of grains or root vegetables as in rice pudding or pumpkin soup. Generally speaking the Spleen likes well-cooked food such as thick soups or stews which are easy on the digestion; it has more difficulty with raw and cold food. The weaker the Spleen, the more it benefits from well-cooked meals.The Spleen also dislikes being flooded with too much fluid so it is helpful to drink only a little fluid with meals and have most fluid intake between meals. It is helpful to separate fruit and sweetened foods from the main meal, eating them instead as between-meal snacks. This assists the Spleen's function of sifting and sorting and helps reduce digestive fermentation.Chewing well helps the Spleen to digest, and warms chilled or raw food. We can also assist the Spleen by sitting in a relaxed way with an open and untwisted posture. Sitting slumped or twisted will compress the digestive organs and hinder digestion.Aromatic flavours stimulate the digestion, so the inclusion of aromatic herbs and spices in cooking will encourage the Spleen not to become Stagnant. Sweet-flavoured foods, especially foods rich in complex carbohydrates, are used by the Spleen to release energy steadily into the system; they form the centre of a Spleen-supportive diet.Finally, according to the system of correspondences in Chinese medicine it is said that yellow/orange foods such as squash, 'red' lentils or carrot are energetically resonant with the Spleen and will support its functions
Amazing, isn't it? I didn't know so many important facts about the spleen. From now on I pay more attention to it and I have changed already the soup receipe and with my hands I am giving it a lot of body warmth and you know two things that happen already? I sleep better, when I an affraid I feel in company and the migraine pain seems to be less painful.
...........................................................................................................................................
On a Thursday of the last month of December , more or less, I told you that I was going to get rid of a pseudofrindship using a tactic that I got from the Chapter number 5 of Star Wars; do you remeber? Do you remeber , as well, that I was although determined feeling quite sad about it because some pseudofriendships were hard to give up , well it came out than when I gave up the main pseudofriend some other pseudofriendships that I was not counting with came out to be in the open because I thought of them as "real" friends and then came out to be pseudofriends . So all in all I can say that in the year 2007 I left behind some 20 or 25 people including the death of my mother of whom I am starting to find out some things that I dont like at all.
posted by Elfrid Walkingtree at 4:57 AM
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