Sunday 15th October

This morning just before 10 oclock i hear on the radio (on the weekend the care/assistant comes to wake me up from bed at 10 in the morning) that one woman who was "missing" for a few years becaause she could not put her identity together with the identity of her family in the society that they were living because this lady was and is "gay"said that"the past cannot be recovered" and i think it is true.

The future i can fantasise/ imaginate about it always, the present, about it always,the present, sometimes, i can also fantasise/imaginate it but the past is there, i cannot change it because i have lived it with and sometimes entangled with other people so at the sametime that is mine it is theirs. So you just have to "trust"that everything i say is all the truth, my truth. In here I need to remind you that i have done a programme of recovery with A.A.that is based in honesty, pure honesty and although it has taken me 12 years, more or less, to come face to face with my own honesty i "feel" that i have arrived, finally. If only i had been more willing to face it many years before maybe my journey would be different. well, lets face it, this is the "real" reality now!

Sometimes i do put 1 drop of TeaTree essential oils (becareful only 1 drop) in a big glass full of water from the tap or filtered. This, when i drink it, is contributing to myself healing against Candida Albicans. TeaTree its very helpfull because it is anti viral, anti microbial, antibactrial and antifungal, its been descibed as a "medicine cabinet" in a small bottle; I put it pure when i have any sore as the product of my position on the bed and on the wheelchair. Another helpful product is aloe vera gel but although the aloe vera is very good as a regenarating agent is only antifungal but i use it eg on my head including my hair but not my eyes and on my hands, the result is that the natural aging process is going very slow indeed so this together with my hair dyed in blonde (a blonde ambition only) is keeping my looks in my 30s (ha, ha, ha ).

Whenever i do have a skin problem i use Geranium essential oil on my skin and usually the problem goes away within 1 or 2 wks; as the plant the oil is extracted from is very popular in Spain, I like very much its smell but my main carer/assistant, who is form Poland doesn't like it at all.

On my eyes i put 2 drops of colodal silver (on the evening i go to bed and on the morinng before i come out of it). I use also Coloidal Silver, as a spray i put it on my armpit (like a deodorant, ) , on my feet (between the toes as well) and after wiping it off and washing it and dryng it againon my esphinter. Coloidal Silver was used widely in medicine before the discovery of antibiotics ( you can find out more about it in internet) but it was expensive ( its not anymore) and slowly to heal (and sometimes didnt heal at all); it can be used also as a nasal drops and as a cure for verrucas. It works with the principle that no organism (big or small) can live within a silver environment, ever wonder why you can get an ear infection if you use a gold earing and never when you use a silver one?

On the mattress that i have on the bed i put a few drops of pine essential oils because it kills the bugs that live in the mattress. Also on my bedroom sometimes on my pillow or in/sometimes as well an essential oil burner, whenever i have a "nasty" cough ( usually brought to me by my carers?assistants when they catch the infection outside) a few drops of thyme Essential oil in a base of water because thyme helps to bring out anything that is obstructing the breathing . Keeping in the subject of the lungs, ever wonder about the "common" lung infections? Well the environment inside the lungs is hot and wet so a little bit of "dryness" now and then is good for you; this "dryness" can be achived by having some smoke in the lungs ( but not cigarrettes please) or an annual holiday of a few days only (ha,ha,ha) in a country like Iceland or Switzerland where the habitual winds make it a perfect environment for this.

Well i am sure that i have a few more little secrets/knowledge that i could share with you but my memory is not always good so enough for now. My dream would be that we could have a common space where to hear people telling each other about their little secrets / knowledge.