Monday 2nd of October

Last night i woke up at 3 am and not so i woke up my mind started to produce more bullshit. Cos if u didnt know it u do know everything i put in this blog is my personal "bullshit"

Some time ago i told my friends that my rubbish or bullshit goes like into a bottle and whenever i have the oportunity of talking to them i empty it but once i started this " exercise" in this blog i thought the bottole full of my personal "bullshit "was going to get empty soon but to my suprise is still having quite a lot of it(the bottle).As it happends its just that as i identified a long time sago in the recovery rooms of AA, when an alcoholic(in recovery or otherwise) talks is like they take a "hostage" and in my case i know qiute a lot (philisophy,religion,history,science and language or literature.....),so i say interesting things in order to keep the attention of the listener so i can keep them as a "hostage".

One thing it was burning in my head last night and that was an ease when i am going to tell you about my suicide attempt(if anybody is in contact with my mother in Spain shut up!). It was nothing extraordinary and even 10 minutes before i decide to kill myself i didnt know it so hardly anybody could help.It was just a burst of anger( i do have this quite a lot) a (existential)cry from a drama queen.I am not the only drama queen in the history of human fantasies.A genius called William Shakespeare defined one long time ago called Juliet, as in the story of "Romeo and Juliet".There was one time when Juliet had to make a decision what to do in her life once she saw the sleeping body of Romeo that she thought was dead.She could have chosen to become a drama queen and to kill herself cos her life (this is when we can see the hand of a man writing this) her life was meaningless without Romeo or if she was been more practical with herself she would say one Romeo dead cos of my love let's go and find anothe.But oh no she decide to kill herslef hterefor becoming a legendary tragic drama queen.And in that way but not so literary my suicide attempt was something like that.The lack of Romeo in my life was only one of the many,many points Besides i was in the hospital less then 48hrs.

Well i did it.I describe here my suicide attempt.I am sure some of u will have questions like why?what made u to call 999?(oh!how original of u)