saturday 7th october

yesterday afternoon Friday,since blogger .com had told me that they were doing essential repairs (?!) in this programme i didnt think it was possible for me to publish anything today but then after having the "little smoke" and being able of communicating well I published some more thoughts in the evening. Today i was thinking of publishing some clarification points however this morning in the post came the latest issue of AIDS Treatment Up-Date (ATU) from NAM publications (National AIDS Manual) that had 2 articles made me to get angry, so much that my creative juices went into heating up that unlike in modern kettles that when the liquid gets to boiling point they stopped but in my case this afternoon the creative juices got to boing point and continued heating up so much that they became steaming and made me like "fuming and incesed". This was because of 2 articles in which 1 was talking about alternative treatments but in its development was talking about hospital medication only on opposition to combination therapy that is also hospital medication. The next article was titled "Are you risking your health by using complementary therapies" in which they continued their usual damning of complementary therapies that has been the usual approach for the last 10 years more or less.

About 10 or 11 years ago, there were only less than 15% of people with HIV taking any hospital medication also called anti HIV combination therapy. The pharmaceutical industry in their patronising approach to healing thought that was not good enough so they changed "their economic policy and threw a lot of money into promoting how people who would take the medication from them would make their choice and at the same time "make" the doctors in the hospital to prescribe the medication so the government would spend all the funds for anti HIV in the NHS; so the few charity organisations left, would have to rely on them (the pharmaceutical industries) economically. A few were created then like The UK COALITION FOR PEOPLE LIVING WITH HIV AND AIDS and its own magazine POSITIVE NATION; there were other organisations like Terence Higgins Trust (THT) that had to assimilate other organisations to survive and had to accept as its mainly funding the money coming from pharmaceutical. The result is that today you have more than 80% of people living with HIV taking the anti HIV combination.

In June 2003 I stopped taking it ( the anti HIV medication) and i asked some people I thought "friends" to tell me if they knew any person who was not taking combination and was doing well or just doing, this "friend" told me that although he knew somebody he would not tell me because he thought of this action as dangerous. At the time he was the editor assisstant of Positive Nation and by this proof that he was not a " friend " of mine.I also tried to get that information from other sources like THT Direct only to find a wall of bricks and complete "silence. I stayed without combination therapy until Feb 2005 and I only went back into combination my money was running out. Once i got into the hospital medication again they took a blood test and my immune system shot up.

A few days ago I told you that in the 1st years of my diagnosis I gathered as much information as possible and that would be good advice from me to somebody who might be newly diagnosed to do so. I did the AIDS minitry course with an organisation called CARA Trust first as a participant and then as a facilitator (10 or 12 times); I took part also in the AIDS mastery workshop once as a participant and about 3 times as a helper, I even became one of their trustees in the steering committee called Northern Lights Trust but I soon discovered that most of them were a bunch devotees worshipping some of the leaders also called masters ; i, as well, took part in someting very valuable to me called the Menenergy weekend organised by a rather small charity still in existence called Positively Healthy. Although I am not anymore in close contact with them I am grateful to their work because it was through them that I really got to develop my alternative" way " of treating and looking after HIV. Though it is a shame that it advised only for gay "out" men. Their information has lot to offer to every gender and sexual orientation but because its creator, Cass Mann, is an Indian guy who happens to be gay they only do work with gay men but it could be good if somebody else ( not me ) made him to change his mind about this. So many people could benefit from an alternative approach into this "way" of healing HIV and perhaps in this way we could have magazines like ATU approaching complementary medicine like the approach "hospital mdication" medicine.

I keep dreaming!