Tuesday 13th February

If you remember what I said before you will understand what I will say now, sometimes you need to go to the dentist after having a meal. This coming Thursday I will have my first of half an hour successions of telephone counselling; this is because I need to find out why the carers last for a certain period of time only. Of course it may be a question of their not being carers but just people after work and when they realise that when doing care job is more than just getting a job they quit, and in order not to feel bad about themselves they blame everything on me but then maybe I need to look into my sycological makeup in order to see if there is something within me that has not been adjusting itself yet to the new conditions of being body disabled, by this I mean that when somebody who is body able is not happy with how things have been done by others. they can get upset but at the end they can get their thing in their own way, but in my case when I am hoping to have something done in the way that I should do it, I can only get upset because my physical dependency is so much that I cannot do it any other way, and I have to rely on people doing things for me whether I like it or not, the way they have been performed. So, because of this, I need to have a deep and thorough look at my character/personality in order to find out if there is something that can be adapted to my new physical circumstances, if you know what I mean.

I believe, still, that counselling or phsycotherapy should be intergrated in the life of every person as part of their 'normal' way of living, but until that happens we need to be separated and people like me will be continuing being sceptic about it; however within my scepticism, sometimes and only sometimes I need more than what I just can get from my different friendships in order to explore in total honesty, my 'makeup'.